Ponder
Why is time one of Gods greatest gifts?

“The Gift of Time”

Discuss
What did you learn from sister Benkosi?

“For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors.” Alma 34:32

Activity

Step 1: With a partner, read the five steps you can take each day to use your time well.

Step 2: On a separate piece of paper, list your tasks. These should be important tasks for your work, for school, for church, or for family service—not just daily chores. Pray about and prioritize your list.

Step 3: Tomorrow you should set goals, act, and report how you’ve used your time.
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Commit
I will practice these steps every day to use my time more wisely
I will report each night to Heavenly Father in my prayers.

Many people struggle with setting goals and managing their time effectively.

Setting worthwhile goals gives direction to our lives.

A goal is an anticipated accomplishment.

The value of a goal helps determine its priority.

Prioritizing goals means to put them in a desired order.

A calendar helps us schedule all that we need to accomplish.

Most successful people set goals. Goal setting helps us plan and gives direction to our lives.

Discuss:

- What do you consider to be long-range goals?

- What do you consider to be intermediate goals?

- What do you consider to be short-range goals?

- What are some examples of daily tasks?

Ponder:

- Why is a “Daily Tasks” list helpful in reaching goals?

- Why would it be important to review our daily tasks in relation to our longer-range goals?

- How can short-range goals help us achieve long-range academic and spiritual goals?

- How do the long-range, intermediate, and short-range goals and daily tasks listed interrelate with each other?

A goal not written is merely a wish.

“Objectives and goals should not only be worthwhile but also realistic. They should be an incentive to work effectively. Thus the setting of realistic objectives and achieving them becomes an important part of the great process of eternal progression” (Elder Franklin D. Richards, Conference Report, Oct. 1969, 123).

We should set goals in a number of different areas.

Managing our time gives us control over our lives so we can serve more effectively.

We gain control of our lives by gaining control of our time.

“Limiting the amount of time spent playing computer games. How many kills you can make in a minute with a computer game will have zero effect on your capacity to be a good missionary” (M. Russell Ballard, "Clean, Pure, & Valiant", Oct. 2002, 51–52; or Ensign, Nov. 2002, 48).

One of the greatest tools we have to manage our time is planning.

Plan your work and then work your plan.

Planning helps us bring future events into the present so that something can be done about them now.

Example:
(This model could be adapted to accommodate intermediate and long-term goals, such as weekly, monthly, or yearly.)
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Step 1.  Make a list of everything you need to accomplish today.

Step 2.  Assign a value to each item (for example, A = vital, B = important, C = of some value, D = waste of time).

Step 3.  Do all of the As first, then the Bs, and so on.

Goals can help us set a proper course in our lives and focus on worthy causes so that we are not “carried about with every wind of doctrine” (Ephesians 4:14)

“The direction in which we are moving is more important than where we are at the moment. Goal setting should cause us to stretch as we make our way” (Marvin J. Ashton, in Conference Report, Oct. 1983, 87; or Ensign, Nov. 1983, 61).

Time flies on wings of lightning;We cannot call it back.It comes, then passes forward Along its onward track.And if we are not mindful,The chance will fade away,For life is quick in passing.’Tis as a single day. [“Improve the Shining Moments,” Hymns, no. 226]

When we plan our lives and use our time wisely, the Lord will bless and magnify us to better serve in His kingdom.

“Thou shalt not idle away thy time, neither shalt thou bury thy talent that it may not be known” (D&C 60:13).

“For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?” (Luke 14:28).

“I feel that goal-setting is absolutely necessary for happy living. But the goal is only part of the desired procedures. We need to know which roads to take to reach the goal. In many cases we set far-reaching goals but neglect the short-range ones. With such short-range plans, we need self-discipline in our actions—study when it is time to study, sleep when it is time to sleep, read when it is time to read, and so on—not permitting an undesirable overlap, but getting our full measure of rewards and blessings from the time we invest in a particular activity” (Bishop John H. Vandenberg. in Conference Report, Apr. 1966, 94).

Find some quiet time regularly to think deeply about where you are going and what you will need to do to get there. Jesus, our exemplar, often ‘withdrew himself into the wilderness, and prayed’ (Luke 5:16). (Elder M. Russell Ballard, in Conference Report, Apr. 1987, 15–16; or Ensign, May 1987, 14).

Part of this endeavor will require you to put aside many things of this world. (Russell M. Nelson, "Spiritual Treasures" October 2019 General Conference)

Sometimes we speak almost casually about walking away from the world with its contention, pervasive temptations, and false philosophies. But truly doing so requires you to examine your life meticulously and regularly. (Russell M. Nelson, "Spiritual Treasures" October 2019 General Conference)

As you do so, the Holy Ghost will prompt you about what is no longer needful, what is no longer worthy of your time and energy. (Russell M. Nelson, "Spiritual Treasures" October 2019 General Conference)

As you shift your focus away from worldly distractions, some things that seem important to you now will recede in priority. (Russell M. Nelson, "Spiritual Treasures" October 2019 General Conference)

You will need to say no to some things, even though they may seem harmless. (Russell M. Nelson, "Spiritual Treasures" October 2019 General Conference)

As you embark upon and continue this lifelong process of consecrating your life to the Lord, the changes in your perspective, feelings, and spiritual strength will amaze you! (Russell M. Nelson, "Spiritual Treasures" October 2019 General Conference)

If you are not seeking the Lord through daily prayer and gospel study, you leave yourself vulnerable to philosophies that may be intriguing but are not true. Even Saints who are otherwise faithful can be derailed by the steady beat of Babylon's band  (Russell M. Nelson, "Make Time for the Lord"  Ensign November 2021)

To avoid the inevitable heartbreak that follows, I plead with you today to counter the lure of the world by making time for the Lord in your life - each and every day (Russell M. Nelson, "Make Time for the Lord"  Ensign November 2021)

... I encourage you to slow down a bit and think about where you are now in subjugating your carnal nature and empowering your divine, spiritual nature so when the time comes, you may pass in the spirit world to a joyful reunion with your loved ones (M. Russell Ballard, "Giving Our Spirits Control Over Our Bodies", Ensign November 2019)

Do you see yourself as a heroic pioneer because you get out of bed every morning, comb your hair, and get to school on time? Do you see the significance of doing your homework every day and recognize the courage displayed in asking for help when you don’t understand an assignment? Do you see the heroism in going to church every single Sunday, participating in class, and being friendly to others? Do you see the greatness in doing the dishes over and over and over? Or practicing the piano? Or tending children? Do you recognize the fortitude and belief in the journey’s end that are required in order to keep saying your prayers every day and keep reading the scriptures? Do you see the magnificence in giving time a chance to whittle your problems down to a manageable size?  (Virginia H. Pearce, Keep Walking, and Give Time a Chance", Ensign, May 1997)

We discovered that tardiness is an attitude as well as a habit. We may hate being late, even long to be early, but in order to do so we have to be willing to make a commitment, to sacrifice, and to persevere. (Celestia Whitehead, "Late Again", Ensign January 1987)

True greatness is a long-term process; it may involve occasional setbacks. The end result may not always be clearly visible, but it seems that it always requires regular, consistent, small, and sometimes ordinary and mundane steps over a long period of time. (Howard W. Hunger, "True Greatness", April 1982 General Conference)

Four Ways to Reduce Stress

- Prioritize
- Delegate
- Eliminate
- Do It
(Paula J.Lewis, Four Ways to Reduce Stress, Ensign, September 2000)

Learning to Prioritize, find balance, and work hard toward a goal are important markers of maturity. (Wendy Ulrich, and Christine Packard, "That They May Grow Up in Thee", Ensign February 2010)

Goals and routines help people prevent depression and temptation and navigate between the opposing quicksand of boredom and Excessive stress. (Wendy Ulrich, and Christine Packard, "That They May Grow Up in Thee", Ensign February 2010)

As we learn to stick with a difficult task, we have the pleasure of getting the things we want most, not just the things we want now." (Wendy Ulrich, and Christine Packard, "That They May Grow Up in Thee", Ensign February 2010)

Prioritize with the Spirit. Identifying my own shortcomings can be overwhelming – I often don’t know where to start.  We can pray to know what we need to change at this moment. Elder Lawrence taught: “The Holy Ghost really does give customized counsel.  He is a completely honest companion and will tell us things that no one else knows or has the courage to say.”
(Leah Barton, “3 Things to Remember When You Feel Like You’re Falling Short”, Ensign December 2018)

I am reminded of a special friend. As I have worked with her, I have been inspired by her devotion to her family and church. A large family and an invalid husband didn’t keep her from accepting a leadership responsibility in Relief Society. I asked her how she managed so well. She answered, “My Relief Society sisters help me. Their love lifts my spirit when I feel down; the lessons give me strength and direction. My problems don’t seem so big when they are shared.”  

She set a pattern for her day, starting with an early morning prayer while the rest of her family slept. She organized in her mind the duties to be performed that day and asked her Heavenly Father for his help in accomplishing them.

Each day ended with a grateful report as she expressed her appreciation and love to her Father in Heaven for his help and the help of kind friends. She felt she could not have accomplished the day’s tasks alone. (Marian R. Boyer, “Organize Yourselves”, General Conference, October 1980)

 Home will become a true sanctuary of faith where the spirit of the lord may dwell. (Russell M. Nelson, General Conference, April2019)

Each family organization should include a family council comprised of all members of the family unit. Here the basic responsibilities of the family organization can be taught to the children. They can learn how to make decisions and act upon those decisions. (L. Tom Perry, "The Need to Teach Personal and Family Preparedness", General Conference, April 1981) 

Organize yourselves;prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God. (D&C 88:119)

If man is limited in his growth and perfection by his ability to use his priesthood, then surely we must continually strive to use its power and to organize ourselves more perfectly. (L. Tom Perry, “When Ye Are Prepared, Ye Shall Not Fear “, General Conference, October 1981)

Working out our own salvation requires good planning and a deliberate, valiant effort” (Elder M. Russell Ballard, in Conference Report, Apr. 1987, 15; or Ensign, May 1987, 14)

TBFO

Example:
TBFO

TBFO

TBFO

“The Holy Spirit of Promise is the Holy Spirit promised the saints, or in other words the Holy Ghost. This name-title is used in connection with the sealing and ratifying power of the Holy Ghost, that is, the power given him to ratify and approve the righteous acts of men so that those acts will be binding on earth and in heaven. (Doctrines of Salvation, vol. 1, p. 55; vol. 2, pp. 94–99.)

‘All covenants, contracts, bonds, obligations, oaths, vows, performances, connections, associations, or expectations,’ must be sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise, if they are to have ‘efficacy, virtue, or force in and after the resurrection from the dead; for all contracts that are not made unto this end have an end when men are dead.’ (D&C 132:7)

“To seal is to ratify, to justify, or to approve. Thus an act which is sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise is one which is ratified by the Holy Ghost; it is one which is approved by the Lord; and the person who has taken the obligation upon himself is justified by the Spirit in the thing he has done. (Doctrines of Salvation, vol. 1, p. 55; vol. 2, pp. 94–99.)

“The ratifying seal of approval is put upon an act only if those entering the contract are worthy as a result of personal righteousness to receive the divine approbation. They ‘are sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, which the Father sheds forth upon all those who are just and true.’ (D&C 76:53.)

If they are not just and true and worthy the ratifying seal is withheld. (Doctrines of Salvation, vol. 1, p. 55; vol. 2, pp. 94–99.)

“When any ordinance or contract is sealed by the Spirit, it is approved with a promise of reward, provided unrighteousness does not thereafter break the seal, remove the ratifying approval, and cause loss of the promised blessing. (Doctrines of Salvation, vol. 1, p. 55; vol. 2, pp. 94–99.)

Seals are placed on contracts through righteousness.

Example:

“The operation and power of the Holy Spirit of Promise is best illustrated by the ordinance and contract of baptism. An unworthy candidate for baptism might deceive the elders and get the ordinance performed, but no one can lie to the Holy Ghost and get by undetected. Accordingly, the baptism of an unworthy and unrepentant person would not be sealed by the Spirit; it would not be ratified by the Holy Ghost; the unworthy person would not be justified by the Spirit in his actions. If thereafter he became worthy through repentance and obedience, the seal would then be put in force. Similarly, if a worthy person is baptized, with the ratifying approval of the Holy Ghost attending the performance, yet the seal may be broken by subsequent sin. (Mormon Doctrine, 361–62)

“The principle of the Holy Spirit of Promise also applies to every other ordinance and performance in the Church. (Mormon Doctrine, 361–62).

Thus if both parties are ‘just and true,’ if they are worthy, a ratifying seal is placed on their temple marriage; (Mormon Doctrine, 361–62).

if they are unworthy, they are not justified by the Spirit and the ratification of the Holy Ghost is withheld. (Mormon Doctrine, 361–62).

Subsequent worthiness will put the seal in force, and unrighteousness will break any seal. (Mormon Doctrine, 361–62).

“Even if a person progresses to that state of near-perfection in which his calling and election is made sure, in which he is ‘sealed up unto eternal life’ (D&C 131:5; 132:18–26), in which he receives ‘the promise … of eternal life’ (D&C 88:3–4), in which he is ‘sealed up unto the day of redemption’ (D&C 124:124; Eph. 1:13)—yet with it all, these great promises are secured only if the ‘performances’ are sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise” (Mormon Doctrine, 361–62).

“Two years make a tremendous difference in the life of a young man. He goes out a boy and comes back a man. He goes out immature, he comes back mature and strong, gracious, and a worker and willing to serve. He goes back to college in most cases and there he will make higher grades than he ever made before, because he has purpose in his life. He is already enjoying purpose, and now he has a new purpose” (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 590–91)

While it is true a person may be legally classified as an adult when he or she reaches a certain age, for our purposes today the kind of adult status we are talking about must be earned by actions and attitude. (Elder Marvin J. Ashton, in Conference Report, Apr. 1987, 78–79; or Ensign, May 1987, 65)

“I am not quite sure who has the right or responsibility to declare someone an adult, but I am quite certain that often the least qualified to make the declaration would be the individual himself. (Elder Marvin J. Ashton, in Conference Report, Apr. 1987, 78–79; or Ensign, May 1987, 65)

When we who are more senior use an expression like ‘I am older than you’ to clinch a point, I am not too sure it is very effective. How much better it is to gain respect and love through worthy parental conduct than to seek it through the means of the age differential.(Elder Marvin J. Ashton, in Conference Report, Apr. 1987, 78–79; or Ensign, May 1987, 65)

Those among us who use abusive arguments, temper tantrums, demeaning and painful criticism, fruitless counter-complaints, and disrespect will benefit no one. (Elder Marvin J. Ashton, in Conference Report, Apr. 1987, 78–79; or Ensign, May 1987, 65)

It is alarming how many older people go through life without ever becoming real adults. (Elder Marvin J. Ashton, in Conference Report, Apr. 1987, 78–79; or Ensign, May 1987, 65)

“Just as the capacity to defer gratification is a sign of real maturity, likewise the willingness to wait for deferred explanation is a sign of real faith and of trust spread over time” (Elder Neal A. Maxwell, in Conference Report, Apr. 1985, 91; or Ensign, May 1985, 71).

“We are here on earth to gain experience we can obtain in no other way. We are given the opportunity to grow, to develop, and to gain spiritual maturity. To do that, we must learn to apply truth. How we face challenges and resolve difficult problems is crucially important to our happiness” (Elder Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Oct. 1989, 38; or Ensign, Nov. 1989, 30)

“‘We live in a universe of moral law. We can choose evil and get what we want right now and then pay for it afterward. Or we can choose good and pay for it first, before we get it.’ (Fosdick.) So it is with a life of honesty and responsibility, of sexual purity, of integrity, of selfless service. …(Elder Marion D. Hanks, in Conference Report, Oct. 1967, 59–60)

“When Paul spoke of charity out of the ‘pure heart,’ I believe he was talking about the sense of honest, unselfish concern for others that is the mark of moral and spiritual maturity. … To truly care about others, to be considerate and kind and responsible reflects true maturity” (Elder Marion D. Hanks, in Conference Report, Oct. 1967, 59–60)

“Marriage is perhaps the most vital of all the decisions and has the most far-reaching effects, for it has to do not only with immediate happiness, but also with eternal joys. It affects not only the two people involved, but also their families and particularly their children and their children’s children down through the many generations” (President Spencer W. Kimball, “Oneness in Marriage,” Ensign, Mar. 1977, 3)

“This will be the most important decision of your life, the individual whom you marry. …“… Marry the right person in the right place at the right time” (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2)

“The most important things that any member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ever does in this world are:
1. To marry the right person, in the right place, by the right authority; and
2. To keep the covenant made in connection with this holy and perfect order of matrimony”
(Elder Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 118).

“In choosing a companion, it is necessary to study the disposition, the inheritance, and training of the one with whom you are contemplating making life’s journey” (President David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, 459)

“The difficulties and hazards of marriage are greatly increased where backgrounds are different” (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 302)

“Be worthy of the mate you choose. Respect him or her. Give encouragement to him or her. Love your companion with all your heart. (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2, 4)

“There is no substitute for marrying in the temple. It is the only place under the heavens where marriage can be solemnized for eternity. Don’t cheat yourself. Don’t cheat your companion. Don’t shortchange your lives. Marry the right person in the right place at the right time. (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2, 4)

“Choose a companion of your own faith. You are much more likely to be happy. (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2, 4)

Choose a companion you can always honor, you can always respect, one who will complement you in your own life, one to whom you can give your entire heart, your entire love, your entire allegiance, your entire loyalty. … (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2, 4)

“A good marriage requires time. It requires effort. You have to work at it. You have to cultivate it. You have to forgive and forget. You have to be absolutely loyal one to another. (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2, 4)

Most of you will marry and have children. They will become the source of your greatest pride and happiness. …(President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2, 4)

“All of this can come to pass if you make this most important decision, one guided by prayer as well as instinct, of choosing a dear companion who will be yours through thick and thin forever, throughout all eternity” (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2, 4)

“There is more to a foundation of eternal marriage than a pretty face or an attractive figure. There is more to consider than popularity or charisma. (Elder Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1999, 31; or Ensign, May 1999, 26)

As you seek an eternal companion, look for someone who is developing the essential attributes that bring happiness: a deep love of the Lord and of His commandments, a determination to live them, one that is kindly understanding, forgiving of others, and willing to give of self, with the desire to have a family crowned with beautiful children and a commitment to teach them the principles of truth in the home. (Elder Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1999, 31; or Ensign, May 1999, 26)

“An essential priority of a prospective wife is the desire to be a wife and mother. She should be developing the sacred qualities that God has given His daughters to excel as a wife and mother: patience, kindliness, a love of children, and a desire to care for them rather than seeking professional pursuits. She should be acquiring a good education to prepare for the demands of motherhood. (Elder Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1999, 31; or Ensign, May 1999, 26)

“A prospective husband should also honor his priesthood and use it in service to others. (Elder Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1999, 31; or Ensign, May 1999, 26)

Seek a man who accepts his role as provider of the necessities of life, has the capacity to do it, and is making concerted efforts to prepare himself to fulfill those responsibilities. (Elder Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1999, 31; or Ensign, May 1999, 26)

“I suggest that you not ignore many possible candidates who are still developing these attributes, seeking the one who is perfected in them. You will likely not find that perfect person, and if you did, there would certainly be no interest in you. These attributes are best polished together as husband and wife” (Elder Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1999, 31; or Ensign, May 1999, 26)

“Yes, men are attracted by beauty, and thousands are ensnared by it. There are thousands of men who look for nothing else and who desire nothing else but to have their senses pleased or their passions gratified. These outward adornments will satisfy and only outward adornment will retain. When beauty fades, the passion seeks for gratification elsewhere. ‘Beauty is only skin-deep,’ and when outward adornment is all a girl possesses, the admiration she calls forth is even more shallow than her beauty. … (President David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, 450).

When beauty fades, the passion seeks for gratification elsewhere. (President David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, 450).

‘Beauty is only skin-deep,’ and when outward adornment is all a girl possesses, the admiration she calls forth is even more shallow than her beauty. (President David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, 450).

“But there is a beauty every girl has—a gift from God, as pure as the sunlight, and as sacred as life. It is a beauty that all men love, a virtue that wins all men’s souls. That beauty is chastity. (President David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, 450).

Chastity without skin beauty may enkindle the soul; skin beauty without chastity can kindle only the eye. (President David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, 450).

Chastity enshrined in the mold of true womanhood will hold true love eternally” (President David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, 450).

“When the daughters of Zion are asked by the young men to join with them in marriage, instead of asking—‘Has this man a fine brick house, a span of fine horses and a fine carriage?’ they should ask—‘Is he a man of God? Has he the Spirit of God with him? Is he a Latter-day Saint? Does he pray? Has he got the Spirit upon him to qualify him to build up the kingdom?’ If he has that, never mind the carriage and brick house, take hold and unite yourselves together according to the law of God” (in Discourses of Wilford Woodruff, 271).

“Dear sisters, never lose sight of this sacred goal [of a temple marriage]. Prayerfully prepare for it and live for it. Be married the Lord’s way. Temple marriage is a gospel ordinance of exaltation. Our Father in Heaven wants each of His daughters to have this eternal blessing.  (President Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 96–97).

don’t trifle away your happiness by involvement with someone who cannot take you worthily to the temple. Make a decision now that this is the place where you will marry. To leave that decision until a romantic involvement develops is to take a risk the importance of which you cannot now fully calculate. (President Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 96–97).

You are not required to lower your standards in order to get a mate. Keep yourselves attractive, maintain high standards, maintain your self-respect. Do not engage in intimacies that bring heartache and sorrow. Place yourselves in a position to meet worthy men and be engaged in constructive activities.  (President Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 96–97).

Do not expect perfection in your choice of a mate. Do not be so concerned about his physical appearance and his bank account that you overlook his more important qualities. Of course, he should be attractive to you, and he should be able to financially provide for you. But, does he have a strong testimony? Does he live the principles of the gospel and magnify his priesthood? Is he active in his ward and stake? Does he love home and family, and will he be a faithful husband and a good father? These are qualities that really matter.  (President Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 96–97).

I would also caution you single sisters not to become so independent and self-reliant that you decide marriage isn’t worth it and you can do just as well on your own. Some of our sisters indicate that they do not want to consider marriage until after they have completed their degrees or pursued a career. This is not right.  (President Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 96–97).

Certainly we want our single sisters to maximize their individual potential, to be well educated, and to do well at their present employment. You have much to contribute to society, to your community, and to your neighborhood. But we earnestly pray that our single sisters will desire honorable marriage in the temple to a worthy man and rear a righteous family, even though this may mean the sacrificing of degrees and careers.  (President Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 96–97).

Our priorities are right when we realize there is no higher calling than to be an honorable wife and mother” (President Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 96–97).

“Work hard educationally and in your vocation. Put your trust in the Lord, have faith, and it will work out. The Lord never gives a commandment without providing the means to accomplish it (1 Nephi 3:7).  (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53).

Do not be caught up in materialism, one of the real plagues of our generation—that is, acquiring things, fast-paced living, and securing career success in the single state.  (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53).

“Honorable marriage is more important than wealth, position, and status.  (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53).

As husband and wife, you can achieve your life’s goals together.  (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53).

As you sacrifice for each other and your children, the Lord will bless you, and your commitment to the Lord and your service in His kingdom will be enhanced” (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53).

Brethren, do not expect perfection in your choice of a mate. Do not be so particular that you overlook her most important qualities of having a strong testimony, living the principles of the gospel, loving home, wanting to be a mother in Zion, and supporting you in your priesthood responsibilities. (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53).

“Of course, she should be attractive to you, but do not just date one girl after another for the sole pleasure of dating without seeking the Lord’s confirmation in your choice of your eternal companion. (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53).

“And one good yardstick as to whether a person might be the right one for you is this: in her presence, do you think your noblest thoughts, do you aspire to your finest deeds, do you wish you were better than you are? (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53).

“I hope you will not put off marriage too long. I do not speak as much to the young women as to the young men whose prerogative and responsibility it is to take the lead in this matter. Don’t go on endlessly in a frivolous dating game. Look for a choice companion, one you can love, honor, and respect, and make a decision” (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Thou Shalt Not Covet,” Ensign, Mar. 1990, 6)

“Use both agency and prayer. It is not, never has been, and never will be the design and purpose of the Lord—however much we seek him in prayer—to answer all our problems and concerns without struggle and effort on our part.  (Elder Bruce R. McConkie, “Why the Lord Ordained Prayer,” Ensign, Jan. 1976, 11).

This mortality is a probationary estate. In it we have our agency. We are being tested to see how we will respond in various situations; how we will decide issues; what course we will pursue while we are here walking, not by sight, but by faith. Hence, we are to solve our own problems and then to counsel with the Lord in prayer and receive a spiritual confirmation that our decisions are correct” (Elder Bruce R. McConkie, “Why the Lord Ordained Prayer,” Ensign, Jan. 1976, 11).

“If a revelation is outside the limits of stewardship, you know it is not from the Lord, and you are not bound by it.

I have heard of cases where a young man told a young woman she should marry him because he had received a revelation that she was to be his eternal companion. If this is a true revelation, it will be confirmed directly to the woman if she seeks to know. In the meantime, she is under no obligation to heed it. She should seek her own guidance and make up her own mind. The man can receive revelation to guide his own actions, but he cannot properly receive revelation to direct hers. She is outside his stewardship. … (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall,” Ensign, Oct. 1994, 13–14).

“… When a choice will make a real difference in our lives—obvious or not—and when we are living in tune with the Spirit and seeking his guidance, we can be sure we will receive the guidance we need to attain our goal” (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall,” Ensign, Oct. 1994, 13–14).

“A desire to be led by the Lord is a strength, but it needs to be accompanied by an understanding that our Heavenly Father leaves many decisions for our personal choices. (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall,” Ensign, Oct. 1994, 13–14).

Personal decision making is one of the sources of the growth we are meant to experience in mortality. (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall,” Ensign, Oct. 1994, 13–14).

Persons who try to shift all decision making to the Lord and plead for revelation in every choice will soon find circumstances in which they pray for guidance and don’t receive it. For example, this is likely to occur in those numerous circumstances in which the choices are trivial or either choice is acceptable.

“We should study things out in our minds, using the reasoning powers our Creator has placed within us. Then we should pray for guidance and act upon it if we receive it. If we do not receive guidance, we should act upon our best judgment. (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall,” Ensign, Oct. 1994, 13–14).

Persons who persist in seeking revelatory guidance on subjects on which the Lord has not chosen to direct us may concoct an answer out of their own fantasy or bias, or they may even receive an answer through the medium of false revelation. (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall,” Ensign, Oct. 1994, 13–14).

Revelation from God is a sacred reality, but like other sacred things, it must be cherished and used properly so that a great strength does not become a disabling weakness” (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall,” Ensign, Oct. 1994, 13–14).

“While marriage is difficult, and discordant and frustrated marriages are common, yet real, lasting happiness is possible, and marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive. This is within the reach of every couple, every person. (President Spencer W. Kimball, “Oneness in Marriage,” Ensign, Mar. 1977, 4).

‘Soul mates’ are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price” (President Spencer W. Kimball, “Oneness in Marriage,” Ensign, Mar. 1977, 4).

“Now I wish to say something to bishops and stake presidents concerning missionary service. It is a sensitive matter. There seems to be growing in the Church an idea that all young women as well as all young men should go on missions. We need some young women. They perform a remarkable work. They can get in homes where the elders cannot.

"I confess that I have two granddaughters on missions. They are bright and beautiful young women. They are working hard and accomplishing much good. Speaking with their bishops and their parents, they made their own decisions to go. They did not tell me until they turned in their papers. I had nothing to do with their decision to go.

“Now, having made that confession, I wish to say that the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve are united in saying to our young sisters that they are not under obligation to go on missions. I hope I can say what I have to say in a way that will not be offensive to anyone. Young women should not feel that they have a duty comparable to that of young men. Some of them will very much wish to go. If so, they should counsel with their bishop as well as their parents. If the idea persists, the bishop will know what to do.

“I say what has been said before, that missionary work is essentially a priesthood responsibility. As such, our young men must carry the major burden. This is their responsibility and their obligation (President Gordon B. Hinckley, in Conference Report, Oct. 1997, 72–73; or Ensign, Nov. 1997, 52).

“It does not matter if it interrupts your schooling or delays your career or your marriage—or basketball. Unless you have a serious health problem, every Latter-day Saint young man should answer the call to serve a mission” (Elder Boyd K. Packer, in Conference Report, Apr. 1984, 61; or Ensign, May 1984, 42)

“There is increasing evidence that some young women are being strongly encouraged to serve full-time missions. Though capable and effective, young women do not have the same responsibility to serve full-time missions as do young men who hold the priesthood. We are grateful that some desire to serve as full-time missionaries, but they should not be made to feel obligated to do so. A young woman should not be recommended for a mission if it would interfere with a specific marriage proposal” (Church Bulletin, 1993, no. 2, p. 2)