We, The First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles, of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

All Human Beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

In The Premortal Realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize his or her divine destiny as an heir of eternal life. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

The First Commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

We Declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

Husband And Wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

“Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalms 127:3). (The Family Proclamation to the World)

Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

The Family is ordained of God. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

Extended families should lend support when needed. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

We Warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

We Call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

An eternal perspective means to use the knowledge God gives His children through scripture and the prophets. Heavenly Father sees our past, present, and future. His eternal perspective has no mortal limitations. The plan of salvation helps us begin to see as He does so we can make wiser and more righteous decisions.

Ponder
When such differences occur between spouses, there are typically three ways married couples decide:

(1) The wife gives in and the husband gets his way.
(2) The husband gives in and the wife gets her way.
(3) The husband and wife compromise and come up with a solution that partially satisfies both of them.

In an eternal marriage there is a fourth way that can help bring peace and unity to the marriage.

(4) Each partner seeks to understand the gospel principles taught in the plan of salvation and to learn, through study and faith, the mind of the Lord.

Both partners are willing to sacrifice or adjust their own desires to be obedient to the Lord. Unity is possible for two people with different views when they adopt a common set of gospel principles.

“Are we investing, first and foremost, in the things that are eternal in nature? Do we have an eternal perspective? Or have we fallen into the trap of investing in the things of this world first and then forgetting the Lord?” (L. Tom Perry, in Conference Report, Apr. 1987, 40; or Ensign, May 1987, 34).

“Why do we have this proclamation on the family now? Because the family is under attack. All across the world families are falling apart. The place to begin to improve society is in the home. Children do, for the most part, what they are taught. We are trying to make the world better by making the family stronger” (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Inspirational Thoughts,” Ensign, Aug. 1997, 5).

Eternal marriage is central to Heavenly Father’s great plan of happiness. It allows families to find true joy in this life and to continue and progress throughout eternity.

Many people believe that marriage and family life are only mortal experiences. But as members of the Church, we know that a worthy couple can enter the temple and, through a sacred priesthood ordinance, be sealed together as husband and wife for eternity. When a man and woman are married in this way, an eternal family unit begins.

They will continue to have seed, or spirit children, throughout eternity

“Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us” (President Spencer W. Kimball, in Conference Report, Oct. 1980, 3; or Ensign, Nov. 1980, 4)

Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. (The Family Proclamation to the World)

When that covenant is broken, it will bring eternal misery to the guilty party, for we will all have to answer for
our deeds done while in the flesh. (Doctrines of Salvation, 2:80, 83–84, 86–87, 92)

It is an ordinance that cannot be trifled with, and the covenants made in the temple cannot be broken without dire punishment to the one who is guilty. … (Doctrines of Salvation, 2:80, 83–84, 86–87, 92)

5 Know ye not, my son, that these things are an abomination in the sight of the Lord; yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost?

6 For behold, if ye deny the Holy Ghost when it once has had place in you, and ye know that ye deny it, behold, this is a sin which is unpardonable; yea, and whosoever murdereth against the light and knowledge of God, it is not easy for him to obtain forgiveness; yea, I say unto you, my son, that it is not easy for him to obtain a forgiveness.

7 And now, my son, I would to God that ye had not been guilty of so great a crime. I would not dwell upon your crimes, to harrow up your soul, if it were not for your good.

8 But behold, ye cannot hide your crimes from God; and except ye repent they will stand as a testimony against you at the last day.

9 Now my son, I would that ye should repent and forsake your sins, and go no more after the lusts of your eyes, but cross yourself in all these things; for except ye do this ye can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God. Oh, remember, and take it upon you, and cross yourself in these things.
(Alma 39:5–9)

“Is there any wonder, then, that the Lord places the violation of this covenant of marriage and the loss of virtue as second only to the shedding of innocent blood? (Doctrines of Salvation, 2:80, 83–84, 86–87, 92)

Is there not, then, sufficient reason for the severity of the punishment which has been promised to those who violate this eternal law? (Doctrines of Salvation, 2:80, 83–84, 86–87, 92)

Do those who are guilty think the enormity of the offense of maliciously or wickedly tampering with the laws of life will be overlooked by a just God? Do they think that only a few stripes, if any punishment at all, will amend this broken law?” (Doctrines of Salvation, 2:80, 83–84, 86–87, 92)

“These fruits of the gospel—assurance that we shall obtain eternal life, peace in this world sustained by such an assurance, and finally eternal life in the world to come—are within the reach of us all. (Elder Marion G. Romney, in Conference Report, Oct. 1949, 43)

Sometimes, however, because of our lack of understanding and appreciation of them, I am persuaded that we take too much for granted. (Elder Marion G. Romney, in Conference Report, Oct. 1949, 43)

We assume that because we are members of the Church, we shall receive as a matter of course all the blessings of the gospel. (Elder Marion G. Romney, in Conference Report, Oct. 1949, 43)

I have heard people contend that they have a claim upon them because they have been through the temple, even though they are not careful to keep the covenants they there made. I do not think this will be the case. (Elder Marion G. Romney, in Conference Report, Oct. 1949, 43)

“We might take a lesson from an account given by the Prophet of a vision of the resurrection, in which he records that one of the saddest things he had ever witnessed was the sorrow of members of the Church who came forth to a resurrection below that which they had taken for granted they would receive” (Elder Marion G. Romney, in Conference Report, Oct. 1949, 43; italics added)

And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed this power and the keys of this priesthood; and it shall be said unto them—Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection; and if it be after the first resurrection, in the next resurrection; and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths—then shall it be written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, that he shall commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, and if ye abide in my covenant, and commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, it shall be done unto them in all things whatsoever my servant hath put upon them, in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever. (Doctrine and Covenants 132:19)

“As taught in this scripture [D&C 132:19], an eternal bond doesn’t just happen as a result of sealing covenants we make in the temple. How we conduct ourselves in this life will determine what we will be in all the eternities to come. (Elder Robert D. Hales, in Conference Report, Oct. 1996, 87; or Ensign, Nov. 1996, 65)

To receive the blessings of the sealing that our Heavenly Father has given to us, we have to keep the commandments and conduct ourselves in such a way that our families will want to live with us in the eternities. (Elder Robert D. Hales, in Conference Report, Oct. 1996, 87; or Ensign, Nov. 1996, 65)

The family relationships we have here on this earth are important, but they are much more important for their effect on our families for generations in mortality and throughout all eternity. (Elder Robert D. Hales, in Conference Report, Oct. 1996, 87; or Ensign, Nov. 1996, 65)

“By divine commandment, spouses are required to love each other above all others. The Lord clearly declares, ‘Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else’ (D&C 42:22)” (Elder Robert D. Hales, in Conference Report, Oct. 1996, 87; or Ensign, Nov. 1996, 65)

Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else. (Doctrine and Covenants 42:22)

That is why we can make covenants with such confidence, knowing with certainty God’s power over darkness and danger and troubles of every kind.  (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, in Green and Anderson, To Rejoice as Women, 99–100)

We should give gratitude from the depths of our soul for a plan of happiness that provides for escape from every personal mistake we have ever made and every dumb thing we have ever done.  (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, in Green and Anderson, To Rejoice as Women, 99–100)

We should express eternal thanks for the pure, single-minded, divine goodness that can cover every concern, heal every wound, make up for every defect, and eventually dry every tear. That’s the God and Christ and plan King Lamoni saw, and that is what stunned him so.  (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, in Green and Anderson, To Rejoice as Women, 99–100)

It will stun us, too—by its strength and by its splendor—when our need is great enough, our faith strong enough, and our view clear enough to see it. In our hour of extremity, we will, if we keep our covenants, see the clouds of darkness lift, the veil of unbelief cast away by the hand of a Father who is eternally committed to our happiness. (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, in Green and Anderson, To Rejoice as Women, 99–100)

Covenants not only commit us to being unshakable in our devotion to God, they remind us God will always be unshakable in his devotion toward us. (Patricia T. Holland, in Green and Anderson, To Rejoice as Women, 99–100)

And though we may falter and make mistakes, he never falters. He never makes a mistake. He is ever faithful to us. That is the beauty and majesty inherent in the covenants we make with God. (Patricia T. Holland, in Green and Anderson, To Rejoice as Women, 99–100)

Covenants are binding, supernal, consummate contracts between God and his children.  (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, in Green and Anderson, To Rejoice as Women, 99–100)

They are the solemn promises of Deity—a God who always keeps his word—that heaven will pour out unmeasured blessings upon all who are faithful and honor the conditions of their pledge.  (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, in Green and Anderson, To Rejoice as Women, 99–100)

An individual can swear an oath, but only when God reciprocates in kind is a covenant established.  (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, in Green and Anderson, To Rejoice as Women, 99–100)

“We know that oaths are never to be spoken lightly, and covenantal language is of a higher order yet.  (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, in Green and Anderson, To Rejoice as Women, 99–100)

By definition, covenants invoke the most sacred language we can utter in this world. This language establishes a bond and a relationship unique in the human experience. It is the means by which individuals in a fallen family make their way back to eternal splendor. It is the means by which each one of us can be, in the Lord’s own words, ‘a peculiar treasure unto me above all people’. (Exodus 19:5)  (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, in Green and Anderson, To Rejoice as Women, 99–100)

That is why keeping our covenants will, as the scripture says, add ‘glory … upon their heads for ever and ever’ (Abraham 3:26)”.  (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, in Green and Anderson, To Rejoice as Women, 99–100)

Now therefore, if ye will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people: for all the earth is mine: (Exodus 19:5)

And they who keep their first estate shall be added upon; and they who keep not their first estate shall not have glory in the same kingdom with those who keep their first estate; and they who keep their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads for ever and ever. (Abraham 3:26)

“A periodic review of the covenants we have made with the Lord will help us with our priorities and with balance in our lives. This review will help us see where we need to repent and change our lives to ensure that we are worthy of the promises that accompany our covenants and sacred ordinances. (Elder M. Russell Ballard, in Conference Report, Apr. 1987, 15; or Ensign, May 1987, 14)

Working out our own salvation requires good planning and a deliberate, valiant effort” (Elder M. Russell Ballard, in Conference Report, Apr. 1987, 15; or Ensign, May 1987, 14)

The Covenants we make and the promised blessings

- Baptism
‍

The Covenants we make and the promised blessings

-The Holy Ghost
‍

The Covenants we make and the promised blessings

- Sacrament
‍

The Covenants we make and the promised blessings

- Receive the Oath and Covenant of the Priesthood
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The Covenants we make and the promised blessings

- Temple Endowment

The Covenants we make and the promised blessings

- Celestial Marriage

“Let the father and mother, who are members of this Church and Kingdom, take a righteous course, and strive with all their might never to do a wrong, but to do good all their lives; if they have one child or one hundred children, if they conduct themselves towards them as they should, binding them to the Lord by their faith and prayers, I care not where those children go, they are bound up to their parents by an everlasting tie, and no power of earth or hell can separate them from their parents in eternity; they will return again to the fountain from whence they sprang” (President Brigham Young, in Discourses of Brigham Young, 208)

“In a day when the sanctity of the home is being invaded and where the care of children has been regarded lightly, we, by means of the family home evening manual, have endeavored to impress upon the parents the importance of developing a love in the home so that in the future, should those children thus taught stray away, they would eventually return again, lest they lose their place in the eternal family circle” (First Presidency—Spencer W. Kimball, N. Eldon Tanner, Marion G. Romney, Family Home Evening: Love Makes Our House a Home, 2)

“It is not uncommon for responsible parents to lose one of their children, for a time, to influences over which they have no control. They agonize over rebellious sons or daughters. They are puzzled over why they are so helpless when they have tried so hard to do what they should.

“It is my conviction that those wicked influences one day will be overruled. (Elder Boyd K. Packer, in Conference Report, Apr. 1992, 94–95; or Ensign, May 1992, 68)

“‘The Prophet Joseph Smith declared—and he never taught a more comforting doctrine—that the eternal sealings of faithful parents and the divine promises made to them for valiant service in the Cause of Truth, would save not only themselves, but likewise their posterity. … (Elder Boyd K. Packer, in Conference Report, Apr. 1992, 94–95; or Ensign, May 1992, 68)

Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God’ (Orson F. Whitney, in Conference Report, Apr. 1929, p. 110)

“We cannot overemphasize the value of temple marriage, the binding ties of the sealing ordinance, and the standards of worthiness required of them. When parents keep the covenants they have made at the altar of the temple, their children will be forever bound to them” (Elder Boyd K. Packer, in Conference Report, Apr. 1992, 94–95; or Ensign, May 1992, 68)

“There are some great spiritual promises which may help faithful parents in this church. Children of eternal sealings may have visited upon them the divine promises made to their valiant forebears who nobly kept their covenants. Covenants remembered by parents will be remembered by God. The children may thus become the beneficiaries and inheritors of these great covenants and promises. This is because they are the children of the covenant” (Elder James E. Faust, in Conference Report, Oct. 1990, 43; or Ensign, Nov. 1990, 35)

“And without the ordinances thereof, and the authority of the priesthood, the power of godliness is not manifest unto men in the flesh” (D&C 84:20–21)

in a covenant between God and man, both parties take on obligations and both parties receive a benefit.

Regardless of our enthusiasm or sincerity, the blessings of eternity are available to us only as we receive the ordinances and keep the covenants associated with them.

“In the Church the word ordinances usually refers to rites and ceremonies that the Lord has given us for our salvation, guidance, and comfort. … These ordinances are physical actions that symbolize spiritual experiences. By taking part in them we receive the spiritual power we need to change our lives” (Duties and Blessings of the Priesthood: Basic Manual for Priesthood Holders, Part B [2000], 27).

in a covenant between God and man, both parties take on obligations and both parties receive a benefit.
‍
(For example, the arrows could represent the love and support marriage partners give each other, and the line could represent their obligation to each other.)

When we enter into the new and everlasting covenant of marriage, the union becomes far more than a civil contract. The ordinances in the temple draw us heavenward as God becomes a partner to our covenants. These ordinances can help us gain an eternal perspective of our marriage and be more committed to each other and to God.

(The arrows reaching downward could represent God’s authority, the commandments, the Atonement, and so forth. The arrows reaching upward could represent the couple’s obedience and prayers.)

“The ultimate Latter-day Saint priorities are twofold: First, we seek to understand our relationship to God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, and to secure that relationship by obtaining their saving ordinances and by keeping our personal covenants. Second, we seek to understand our relationship to our family members and to secure those relationships by the ordinances of the temple and by keeping the covenants we make in that holy place. These relationships, secured in the way I have explained, provide eternal blessings available in no other way. No combination of science, success, property, pride, prominence, or power can provide these eternal blessings!” (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, in Conference Report, Apr. 2001, 110; or Ensign, May 2001, 84)

20 There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—

21 And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.
Doctrine and Covenants 130:20–21

And this shall be our covenant—that we will walk in all the ordinances of the Lord.
Doctrine and Covenants 136:4

“Covenants not only commit us to being unshakable in our devotion to God, they remind us God will always be unshakable in his devotion toward us. And though we may falter and make mistakes, he never falters. He never makes a mistake. He is ever faithful to us. That is the beauty and majesty inherent in the covenants we make with God” (Patricia T. Holland, “Considering Covenants: Women, Men, Perspective, Promises,” in To Rejoice as Women: Talks from the 1994 Women’s Conference, ed. Susette Fletcher Green and Dawn Hall Anderson [1995], 99–100; or student manual, 39)

“A periodic review of the covenants we have made with the Lord will help us with our priorities and with balance in our lives” (Elder M. Russell Ballard, in Conference Report, Apr. 1987, 15; or Ensign, May 1987, 14; student manual, 40)

“This review will help us see where we need to repent and change our lives to ensure that we are worthy of the promises that accompany our covenants and sacred ordinances. Working out our own salvation requires good planning and a deliberate, valiant effort” (Elder M. Russell Ballard, in Conference Report, Apr. 1987, 15; or Ensign, May 1987, 14; student manual, 40)

What is the best indicator that a potential mate will keep his or her eternal marriage covenants?

Answer: The best indicator is how well they honor their covenants now,

“The Holy Spirit of Promise is the Holy Spirit promised the saints, or in other words the Holy Ghost. This name-title is used in connection with the sealing and ratifying power of the Holy Ghost, that is, the power given him to ratify and approve the righteous acts of men so that those acts will be binding on earth and in heaven. (Doctrines of Salvation, vol. 1, p. 55; vol. 2, pp. 94–99.)

‘All covenants, contracts, bonds, obligations, oaths, vows, performances, connections, associations, or expectations,’ must be sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise, if they are to have ‘efficacy, virtue, or force in and after the resurrection from the dead; for all contracts that are not made unto this end have an end when men are dead.’ (D&C 132:7)

“To seal is to ratify, to justify, or to approve. Thus an act which is sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise is one which is ratified by the Holy Ghost; it is one which is approved by the Lord; and the person who has taken the obligation upon himself is justified by the Spirit in the thing he has done. (Doctrines of Salvation, vol. 1, p. 55; vol. 2, pp. 94–99.)

“The ratifying seal of approval is put upon an act only if those entering the contract are worthy as a result of personal righteousness to receive the divine approbation. They ‘are sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, which the Father sheds forth upon all those who are just and true.’ (D&C 76:53.)

If they are not just and true and worthy the ratifying seal is withheld. (Doctrines of Salvation, vol. 1, p. 55; vol. 2, pp. 94–99.)

“When any ordinance or contract is sealed by the Spirit, it is approved with a promise of reward, provided unrighteousness does not thereafter break the seal, remove the ratifying approval, and cause loss of the promised blessing. (Doctrines of Salvation, vol. 1, p. 55; vol. 2, pp. 94–99.)

Seals are placed on contracts through righteousness.

Example:

“The operation and power of the Holy Spirit of Promise is best illustrated by the ordinance and contract of baptism. An unworthy candidate for baptism might deceive the elders and get the ordinance performed, but no one can lie to the Holy Ghost and get by undetected. Accordingly, the baptism of an unworthy and unrepentant person would not be sealed by the Spirit; it would not be ratified by the Holy Ghost; the unworthy person would not be justified by the Spirit in his actions. If thereafter he became worthy through repentance and obedience, the seal would then be put in force. Similarly, if a worthy person is baptized, with the ratifying approval of the Holy Ghost attending the performance, yet the seal may be broken by subsequent sin. (Mormon Doctrine, 361–62)

“The principle of the Holy Spirit of Promise also applies to every other ordinance and performance in the Church. (Mormon Doctrine, 361–62).

Thus if both parties are ‘just and true,’ if they are worthy, a ratifying seal is placed on their temple marriage; (Mormon Doctrine, 361–62).

if they are unworthy, they are not justified by the Spirit and the ratification of the Holy Ghost is withheld. (Mormon Doctrine, 361–62).

Subsequent worthiness will put the seal in force, and unrighteousness will break any seal. (Mormon Doctrine, 361–62).

“Even if a person progresses to that state of near-perfection in which his calling and election is made sure, in which he is ‘sealed up unto eternal life’ (D&C 131:5; 132:18–26), in which he receives ‘the promise … of eternal life’ (D&C 88:3–4), in which he is ‘sealed up unto the day of redemption’ (D&C 124:124; Eph. 1:13)—yet with it all, these great promises are secured only if the ‘performances’ are sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise” (Mormon Doctrine, 361–62).

“Two years make a tremendous difference in the life of a young man. He goes out a boy and comes back a man. He goes out immature, he comes back mature and strong, gracious, and a worker and willing to serve. He goes back to college in most cases and there he will make higher grades than he ever made before, because he has purpose in his life. He is already enjoying purpose, and now he has a new purpose” (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 590–91)

While it is true a person may be legally classified as an adult when he or she reaches a certain age, for our purposes today the kind of adult status we are talking about must be earned by actions and attitude. (Elder Marvin J. Ashton, in Conference Report, Apr. 1987, 78–79; or Ensign, May 1987, 65)

“I am not quite sure who has the right or responsibility to declare someone an adult, but I am quite certain that often the least qualified to make the declaration would be the individual himself. (Elder Marvin J. Ashton, in Conference Report, Apr. 1987, 78–79; or Ensign, May 1987, 65)

When we who are more senior use an expression like ‘I am older than you’ to clinch a point, I am not too sure it is very effective. How much better it is to gain respect and love through worthy parental conduct than to seek it through the means of the age differential.(Elder Marvin J. Ashton, in Conference Report, Apr. 1987, 78–79; or Ensign, May 1987, 65)

Those among us who use abusive arguments, temper tantrums, demeaning and painful criticism, fruitless counter-complaints, and disrespect will benefit no one. (Elder Marvin J. Ashton, in Conference Report, Apr. 1987, 78–79; or Ensign, May 1987, 65)

It is alarming how many older people go through life without ever becoming real adults. (Elder Marvin J. Ashton, in Conference Report, Apr. 1987, 78–79; or Ensign, May 1987, 65)

“Just as the capacity to defer gratification is a sign of real maturity, likewise the willingness to wait for deferred explanation is a sign of real faith and of trust spread over time” (Elder Neal A. Maxwell, in Conference Report, Apr. 1985, 91; or Ensign, May 1985, 71).

“We are here on earth to gain experience we can obtain in no other way. We are given the opportunity to grow, to develop, and to gain spiritual maturity. To do that, we must learn to apply truth. How we face challenges and resolve difficult problems is crucially important to our happiness” (Elder Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Oct. 1989, 38; or Ensign, Nov. 1989, 30)

“‘We live in a universe of moral law. We can choose evil and get what we want right now and then pay for it afterward. Or we can choose good and pay for it first, before we get it.’ (Fosdick.) So it is with a life of honesty and responsibility, of sexual purity, of integrity, of selfless service. …(Elder Marion D. Hanks, in Conference Report, Oct. 1967, 59–60)

“When Paul spoke of charity out of the ‘pure heart,’ I believe he was talking about the sense of honest, unselfish concern for others that is the mark of moral and spiritual maturity. … To truly care about others, to be considerate and kind and responsible reflects true maturity” (Elder Marion D. Hanks, in Conference Report, Oct. 1967, 59–60)

“Marriage is perhaps the most vital of all the decisions and has the most far-reaching effects, for it has to do not only with immediate happiness, but also with eternal joys. It affects not only the two people involved, but also their families and particularly their children and their children’s children down through the many generations” (President Spencer W. Kimball, “Oneness in Marriage,” Ensign, Mar. 1977, 3)

“This will be the most important decision of your life, the individual whom you marry. …“… Marry the right person in the right place at the right time” (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2)

“The most important things that any member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ever does in this world are:
1. To marry the right person, in the right place, by the right authority; and
2. To keep the covenant made in connection with this holy and perfect order of matrimony”
(Elder Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 118).

“In choosing a companion, it is necessary to study the disposition, the inheritance, and training of the one with whom you are contemplating making life’s journey” (President David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, 459)

“The difficulties and hazards of marriage are greatly increased where backgrounds are different” (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 302)

“Be worthy of the mate you choose. Respect him or her. Give encouragement to him or her. Love your companion with all your heart. (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2, 4)

“There is no substitute for marrying in the temple. It is the only place under the heavens where marriage can be solemnized for eternity. Don’t cheat yourself. Don’t cheat your companion. Don’t shortchange your lives. Marry the right person in the right place at the right time. (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2, 4)

“Choose a companion of your own faith. You are much more likely to be happy. (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2, 4)

Choose a companion you can always honor, you can always respect, one who will complement you in your own life, one to whom you can give your entire heart, your entire love, your entire allegiance, your entire loyalty. … (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2, 4)

“A good marriage requires time. It requires effort. You have to work at it. You have to cultivate it. You have to forgive and forget. You have to be absolutely loyal one to another. (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2, 4)

Most of you will marry and have children. They will become the source of your greatest pride and happiness. …(President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2, 4)

“All of this can come to pass if you make this most important decision, one guided by prayer as well as instinct, of choosing a dear companion who will be yours through thick and thin forever, throughout all eternity” (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2, 4)

“There is more to a foundation of eternal marriage than a pretty face or an attractive figure. There is more to consider than popularity or charisma. (Elder Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1999, 31; or Ensign, May 1999, 26)

As you seek an eternal companion, look for someone who is developing the essential attributes that bring happiness: a deep love of the Lord and of His commandments, a determination to live them, one that is kindly understanding, forgiving of others, and willing to give of self, with the desire to have a family crowned with beautiful children and a commitment to teach them the principles of truth in the home. (Elder Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1999, 31; or Ensign, May 1999, 26)

“An essential priority of a prospective wife is the desire to be a wife and mother. She should be developing the sacred qualities that God has given His daughters to excel as a wife and mother: patience, kindliness, a love of children, and a desire to care for them rather than seeking professional pursuits. She should be acquiring a good education to prepare for the demands of motherhood. (Elder Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1999, 31; or Ensign, May 1999, 26)

“A prospective husband should also honor his priesthood and use it in service to others. (Elder Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1999, 31; or Ensign, May 1999, 26)

Seek a man who accepts his role as provider of the necessities of life, has the capacity to do it, and is making concerted efforts to prepare himself to fulfill those responsibilities. (Elder Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1999, 31; or Ensign, May 1999, 26)

“I suggest that you not ignore many possible candidates who are still developing these attributes, seeking the one who is perfected in them. You will likely not find that perfect person, and if you did, there would certainly be no interest in you. These attributes are best polished together as husband and wife” (Elder Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1999, 31; or Ensign, May 1999, 26)

“Yes, men are attracted by beauty, and thousands are ensnared by it. There are thousands of men who look for nothing else and who desire nothing else but to have their senses pleased or their passions gratified. These outward adornments will satisfy and only outward adornment will retain. When beauty fades, the passion seeks for gratification elsewhere. ‘Beauty is only skin-deep,’ and when outward adornment is all a girl possesses, the admiration she calls forth is even more shallow than her beauty. … (President David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, 450).

When beauty fades, the passion seeks for gratification elsewhere. (President David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, 450).

‘Beauty is only skin-deep,’ and when outward adornment is all a girl possesses, the admiration she calls forth is even more shallow than her beauty. (President David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, 450).

“But there is a beauty every girl has—a gift from God, as pure as the sunlight, and as sacred as life. It is a beauty that all men love, a virtue that wins all men’s souls. That beauty is chastity. (President David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, 450).

Chastity without skin beauty may enkindle the soul; skin beauty without chastity can kindle only the eye. (President David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, 450).

Chastity enshrined in the mold of true womanhood will hold true love eternally” (President David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, 450).

“When the daughters of Zion are asked by the young men to join with them in marriage, instead of asking—‘Has this man a fine brick house, a span of fine horses and a fine carriage?’ they should ask—‘Is he a man of God? Has he the Spirit of God with him? Is he a Latter-day Saint? Does he pray? Has he got the Spirit upon him to qualify him to build up the kingdom?’ If he has that, never mind the carriage and brick house, take hold and unite yourselves together according to the law of God” (in Discourses of Wilford Woodruff, 271).

“Dear sisters, never lose sight of this sacred goal [of a temple marriage]. Prayerfully prepare for it and live for it. Be married the Lord’s way. Temple marriage is a gospel ordinance of exaltation. Our Father in Heaven wants each of His daughters to have this eternal blessing.  (President Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 96–97).

don’t trifle away your happiness by involvement with someone who cannot take you worthily to the temple. Make a decision now that this is the place where you will marry. To leave that decision until a romantic involvement develops is to take a risk the importance of which you cannot now fully calculate. (President Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 96–97).

You are not required to lower your standards in order to get a mate. Keep yourselves attractive, maintain high standards, maintain your self-respect. Do not engage in intimacies that bring heartache and sorrow. Place yourselves in a position to meet worthy men and be engaged in constructive activities.  (President Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 96–97).

Do not expect perfection in your choice of a mate. Do not be so concerned about his physical appearance and his bank account that you overlook his more important qualities. Of course, he should be attractive to you, and he should be able to financially provide for you. But, does he have a strong testimony? Does he live the principles of the gospel and magnify his priesthood? Is he active in his ward and stake? Does he love home and family, and will he be a faithful husband and a good father? These are qualities that really matter.  (President Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 96–97).

I would also caution you single sisters not to become so independent and self-reliant that you decide marriage isn’t worth it and you can do just as well on your own. Some of our sisters indicate that they do not want to consider marriage until after they have completed their degrees or pursued a career. This is not right.  (President Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 96–97).

Certainly we want our single sisters to maximize their individual potential, to be well educated, and to do well at their present employment. You have much to contribute to society, to your community, and to your neighborhood. But we earnestly pray that our single sisters will desire honorable marriage in the temple to a worthy man and rear a righteous family, even though this may mean the sacrificing of degrees and careers.  (President Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 96–97).

Our priorities are right when we realize there is no higher calling than to be an honorable wife and mother” (President Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 96–97).

“Work hard educationally and in your vocation. Put your trust in the Lord, have faith, and it will work out. The Lord never gives a commandment without providing the means to accomplish it (1 Nephi 3:7).  (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53).

Do not be caught up in materialism, one of the real plagues of our generation—that is, acquiring things, fast-paced living, and securing career success in the single state.  (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53).

“Honorable marriage is more important than wealth, position, and status.  (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53).

As husband and wife, you can achieve your life’s goals together.  (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53).

As you sacrifice for each other and your children, the Lord will bless you, and your commitment to the Lord and your service in His kingdom will be enhanced” (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53).

Brethren, do not expect perfection in your choice of a mate. Do not be so particular that you overlook her most important qualities of having a strong testimony, living the principles of the gospel, loving home, wanting to be a mother in Zion, and supporting you in your priesthood responsibilities. (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53).

“Of course, she should be attractive to you, but do not just date one girl after another for the sole pleasure of dating without seeking the Lord’s confirmation in your choice of your eternal companion. (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53).

“And one good yardstick as to whether a person might be the right one for you is this: in her presence, do you think your noblest thoughts, do you aspire to your finest deeds, do you wish you were better than you are? (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53).

“I hope you will not put off marriage too long. I do not speak as much to the young women as to the young men whose prerogative and responsibility it is to take the lead in this matter. Don’t go on endlessly in a frivolous dating game. Look for a choice companion, one you can love, honor, and respect, and make a decision” (President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Thou Shalt Not Covet,” Ensign, Mar. 1990, 6)

“Use both agency and prayer. It is not, never has been, and never will be the design and purpose of the Lord—however much we seek him in prayer—to answer all our problems and concerns without struggle and effort on our part.  (Elder Bruce R. McConkie, “Why the Lord Ordained Prayer,” Ensign, Jan. 1976, 11).

This mortality is a probationary estate. In it we have our agency. We are being tested to see how we will respond in various situations; how we will decide issues; what course we will pursue while we are here walking, not by sight, but by faith. Hence, we are to solve our own problems and then to counsel with the Lord in prayer and receive a spiritual confirmation that our decisions are correct” (Elder Bruce R. McConkie, “Why the Lord Ordained Prayer,” Ensign, Jan. 1976, 11).

“If a revelation is outside the limits of stewardship, you know it is not from the Lord, and you are not bound by it.

I have heard of cases where a young man told a young woman she should marry him because he had received a revelation that she was to be his eternal companion. If this is a true revelation, it will be confirmed directly to the woman if she seeks to know. In the meantime, she is under no obligation to heed it. She should seek her own guidance and make up her own mind. The man can receive revelation to guide his own actions, but he cannot properly receive revelation to direct hers. She is outside his stewardship. … (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall,” Ensign, Oct. 1994, 13–14).

“… When a choice will make a real difference in our lives—obvious or not—and when we are living in tune with the Spirit and seeking his guidance, we can be sure we will receive the guidance we need to attain our goal” (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall,” Ensign, Oct. 1994, 13–14).

“A desire to be led by the Lord is a strength, but it needs to be accompanied by an understanding that our Heavenly Father leaves many decisions for our personal choices. (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall,” Ensign, Oct. 1994, 13–14).

Personal decision making is one of the sources of the growth we are meant to experience in mortality. (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall,” Ensign, Oct. 1994, 13–14).

Persons who try to shift all decision making to the Lord and plead for revelation in every choice will soon find circumstances in which they pray for guidance and don’t receive it. For example, this is likely to occur in those numerous circumstances in which the choices are trivial or either choice is acceptable.

“We should study things out in our minds, using the reasoning powers our Creator has placed within us. Then we should pray for guidance and act upon it if we receive it. If we do not receive guidance, we should act upon our best judgment. (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall,” Ensign, Oct. 1994, 13–14).

Persons who persist in seeking revelatory guidance on subjects on which the Lord has not chosen to direct us may concoct an answer out of their own fantasy or bias, or they may even receive an answer through the medium of false revelation. (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall,” Ensign, Oct. 1994, 13–14).

Revelation from God is a sacred reality, but like other sacred things, it must be cherished and used properly so that a great strength does not become a disabling weakness” (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall,” Ensign, Oct. 1994, 13–14).

“While marriage is difficult, and discordant and frustrated marriages are common, yet real, lasting happiness is possible, and marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive. This is within the reach of every couple, every person. (President Spencer W. Kimball, “Oneness in Marriage,” Ensign, Mar. 1977, 4).

‘Soul mates’ are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price” (President Spencer W. Kimball, “Oneness in Marriage,” Ensign, Mar. 1977, 4).

“Now I wish to say something to bishops and stake presidents concerning missionary service. It is a sensitive matter. There seems to be growing in the Church an idea that all young women as well as all young men should go on missions. We need some young women. They perform a remarkable work. They can get in homes where the elders cannot.

"I confess that I have two granddaughters on missions. They are bright and beautiful young women. They are working hard and accomplishing much good. Speaking with their bishops and their parents, they made their own decisions to go. They did not tell me until they turned in their papers. I had nothing to do with their decision to go.

“Now, having made that confession, I wish to say that the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve are united in saying to our young sisters that they are not under obligation to go on missions. I hope I can say what I have to say in a way that will not be offensive to anyone. Young women should not feel that they have a duty comparable to that of young men. Some of them will very much wish to go. If so, they should counsel with their bishop as well as their parents. If the idea persists, the bishop will know what to do.

“I say what has been said before, that missionary work is essentially a priesthood responsibility. As such, our young men must carry the major burden. This is their responsibility and their obligation (President Gordon B. Hinckley, in Conference Report, Oct. 1997, 72–73; or Ensign, Nov. 1997, 52).

“It does not matter if it interrupts your schooling or delays your career or your marriage—or basketball. Unless you have a serious health problem, every Latter-day Saint young man should answer the call to serve a mission” (Elder Boyd K. Packer, in Conference Report, Apr. 1984, 61; or Ensign, May 1984, 42)

“There is increasing evidence that some young women are being strongly encouraged to serve full-time missions. Though capable and effective, young women do not have the same responsibility to serve full-time missions as do young men who hold the priesthood. We are grateful that some desire to serve as full-time missionaries, but they should not be made to feel obligated to do so. A young woman should not be recommended for a mission if it would interfere with a specific marriage proposal” (Church Bulletin, 1993, no. 2, p. 2)

When seeking any blessing, it is important to learn and apply the fundamental principles associated with it. This is particularly true of the blessing of a happy marriage. This course is built on the premise that we can find correct principles that lead to happy marriages in the scriptures and in the teachings of living prophets.

If our goal is to have an eternal marriage, it is important to understand the forces that work against it.

When seeking any blessing, it is important to learn and apply the fundamental principles associated with it. This is particularly true of the blessing of a happy marriage.