Situation

Many of us began our addictions out of curiosity. Some of us became involved because of a justifiable need for a prescription drug or as an act of deliberate rebellion. Many began this path when barely older than children.

Whatever our motive for starting and our circumstances, we soon discovered that the addiction relieved more than just physical pain. It provided stimulation or numbed painful feelings or moods. It helped us avoid the problems we faced—or so we thought. For a while, we felt free of fear, worry, loneliness, discouragement, regret, or boredom. But because life is full of the conditions that prompt these kinds of feelings, we resorted to our addictions more and more often.

Most fail to recognize or admit that they had lost the ability to resist and abstain on their own.

“Addiction surrenders later freedom to choose. Through chemical means, one can literally become disconnected from his or her own will” (Elder Russell M. Nelson, in Conference Report, Oct. 1988, 7; or Ensign, Nov. 1988, 7)

Rarely do people caught in addictive behaviors admit to being addicted.

To deny the seriousness of our condition and to avoid detection and the consequences of our choices, we tried to minimize or hide our behaviors. We did not realize that by deceiving others and ourselves, we slipped deeper into our addictions.

As our powerlessness over addiction increased, many of us found fault with family, friends, Church leaders, and even God. We plunged into greater and greater isolation, separating ourselves from others, especially from God.

When we, as addicts, resorted to lies and secrecy, hoping to excuse ourselves or blame others, we weakened spiritually. With each act of dishonesty, we bound ourselves with “flaxen cords” that soon became as strong as chains (see 2 Nephi 26:22). Then a time came when we were brought face to face with reality. We could no longer hide our addictions by telling one more lie or by saying, “It’s not that bad!”

And there are also secret combinations, even as in times of old, according to the combinations of the devil, for he is the founder of all these things; yea, the founder of murder, and works of darkness; yea, and he leadeth them by the neck with a flaxen cord, until he bindeth them with his strong cords forever. (2 Nephi 26:22)

The addiction was destroying our lives. When we honestly looked at the past, we admitted that nothing we had tried on our own had worked. We acknowledged that the addiction had only gotten worse.

We realized how much our addictions had damaged relationships and robbed us of any sense of worth.

It is at this point, we took the first step toward freedom and recovery by finding courage to admit that we were not just dealing with a problem or a bad habit. We finally admitted the truth that our lives had become unmanageable and that we needed help to overcome our addictions.

The amazing thing about this honest realization of defeat was that recovery finally began.

11 But Ammon said unto him: I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.

12 Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.
(Alma 26:11–12)‍

Even though people’s addictions are different, some truths, like this one, never vary—nothing begins without an individual’s will to make it begin.

Freedom from addiction and cleanliness begin with a tiny flicker of will.

Individuals finally become willing to abstain when the pain of the problem becomes worse than the pain of the solution.

Until you reach that point where the pain of the problem is less than the solution,you will continue in your addiction.

But you will eventually reach that point because addiction is a progressive problem. Like a degenerative disease, it eats at your ability to function normally.

The only requirement to begin recovery is the desire to stop participating in the addiction.

If your desire is small and inconsistent today, don’t worry. It will grow!

Some people recognize the need to be free from addiction but are not yet willing to begin. If you are in that situation, perhaps you can begin by acknowledging your unwillingness and considering the costs of your addiction. You can list what is important to you. Look at your family and social relationships, your relationship to God, your spiritual strength, your ability to help and bless others, your health. Then look for contradictions between what you believe in and hope for and your behavior. Consider how your actions undermine what you value.

You can pray that the Lord will help you see yourself and your life as He sees it—with all your divine potential—and what you risk by continuing in your addiction.

A recognition of what you lose by indulging in your addiction can help you find the desire to stop.

If you can find even the smallest desire, you will have room to begin step 1.

Pride and honesty cannot coexist.

Pride is an illusion and is an essential element of all addiction.

Pride distorts the truth about things as they are, as they have been, and as they will be. It is a major obstacle to your recovery.

“Pride is a very misunderstood sin. … (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1989, 3–4; or Ensign, May 1989, 4)

“Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All of these are elements of the sin, but the heart, or core, is still missing.

“The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means ‘hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.’ It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us. (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1989, 3–4; or Ensign, May 1989, 4)

“Pride is essentially competitive in nature. We pit our will against God’s. When we direct our pride toward God, it is in the spirit of ‘my will and not thine be done.’ … (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1989, 3–4; or Ensign, May 1989, 4)

“Our will in competition to God’s will allows desires, appetites, and passions to go unbridled (see Alma 38:12; 3 Nephi 12:30) (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1989, 3–4; or Ensign, May 1989, 4)

“The proud cannot accept the authority of God giving direction to their lives   (see Helaman 12:6). They pit their perceptions of truth against God’s great knowledge, their abilities versus God’s priesthood power, their accomplishments against His mighty works” (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1989, 3–4; or Ensign, May 1989, 4)

Use boldness, but not overbearance; and also see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love; see that ye refrain from idleness. (Alma 38:12)

For it is better that ye should deny yourselves of these things, wherein ye will take up your cross, than that ye should be cast into hell. (3 Nephi 12:30)

Behold, they do not desire that the Lord their God, who hath created them, should rule and reign over them; notwithstanding his great goodness and his mercy towards them, they do set at naught his counsels, and they will not that he should be their guide. (Helaman 12:6)

As you become willing to abstain and admit the problems you face, your pride will gradually be replaced with humility.

When we indulged our addictions, we lied to ourselves and others. But we could not really fool ourselves. We pretended we were fine, full of bravado and excuses, but somewhere deep inside we knew.

The Light of Christ continued to remind us. We knew we were sliding down a slippery slope toward greater and greater sorrow.

Denying this truth was such hard work that it was a big relief finally to admit that we had a problem. Suddenly, we allowed a tiny opening for hope to slip in.

When we chose to admit to ourselves that we had a problem and we became willing to seek support and help, we gave that hope a place to grow.

We were then ready to take the next step of attending a recovery meeting.

Participation in a support group or a recovery meeting may not be feasible for everyone. If you cannot attend a recovery meeting, you can still follow each of the steps, with minor modifications, as you work with your bishop or a carefully chosen professional counselor.

When attendance at a recovery meeting is possible, you will find it helpful for at least two reasons.

1. At these meetings you will study specific gospel principles that, when applied, will help you change your behavior.  

2. These meetings are a place to gather with others seeking recovery and with those who have already taken this path and are living proof of its effectiveness. In recovery meetings you will find understanding, hope, and support.

“The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior. Preoccupation with unworthy behavior can lead to unworthy behavior. That is why we stress so forcefully the study of the doctrines of the gospel” (President Boyd K. Packer, in Conference Report, Oct. 1986, 20; or Ensign, Nov. 1986, 17)

Studying the scriptures and the statements of Church leaders will help you begin your recovery.

You can use the scriptures, statements, and questions that follow for prayerful personal study, for writing, and for group discussion.

The thought of writing may frighten you, but writing is a powerful tool for recovery. It will give you time to reflect; it will help you focus your thinking; it will help you see and understand the issues, thoughts, and behaviors surrounding your addiction.

When you write, you will also have a record of your thoughts. As you progress through the steps, you will be able to measure your progress.

Just be honest and sincere as you write your thoughts, feelings, and impressions.

18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.

19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.

20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.

21 He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.
(2 Nephi 4:18–21)

Ponder and Write Thoughts

- Do you feel encompassed or trapped?

- When do you feel this way most often?

- What situations or feelings weakened you so you gave in to your addiction?

- When Nephi felt overwhelmed, in whom did he place his trust?

- What can you do to place more trust in the Lord?

“It came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed” (Moses 1:10)

Ponder and Write Thoughts

- How did Moses describe himself as compared to God?

- How can a little child be of infinite worth and still be nothing when compared to his or her parents?

- In what ways are you nothing when you do not have the help of God?

- In what ways are you of infinite worth?

Write about how recognizing your helplessness to overcome your addiction on your own can bring you to admit your own nothingness and become as a little child.

“Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled” (Matthew 5:6)

“And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens” (Enos 1:4)

Ponder and Write Thoughts

In these two scriptures, we learn that our souls can hunger.

- Do you ever feel empty inside, even when you are not physically hungry?

- What causes that emptiness?

- How can your hunger for things of the Spirit help you be more honest?

“Some may regard the quality of character known as honesty to be a most ordinary subject. But I believe it to be the very essence of the gospel. Without honesty, our lives … will degenerate into ugliness and chaos” (Gordon B. Hinckley, “We Believe in Being Honest,” Ensign, Oct. 1990, 2)

Ponder and Write Thoughts

- Write about ways you have lied and attempted to hide your addiction from yourself and others. How has this behavior caused “ugliness and chaos”?

“Because ye are compelled to be humble blessed are ye; for a man sometimes, if he is compelled to be humble, seeketh repentance; and now surely, whosoever repenteth shall find mercy; and he that findeth mercy and endureth to the end the same shall be saved” (Alma 32:13)

Ponder and Write Thoughts

Write about the circumstances that have compelled you to humility and to seek repentance.

- What hope does Alma give you? How can you find or receive that hope?

“Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight” (Proverbs 12:22)

Ponder and Write Thoughts

Writing the answers to these questions has called for a deep level of honesty about yourself.

- How does this passage of scripture relate to this kind of honesty?

- How can you become the Lord’s delight?

Hope in the mercy and power of God that he will deliver you from bondage is found through faith and testimony.

If you turn to the Lord, there will be “no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no offense exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness” (Boyd K. Packer, in Conference Report, Oct. 1995, 22; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 19)

Renew church activity, and ponder deeply and apply the scriptures to access the power of the grace of Christ

A faith based support group where each can learn and support each others progress will increase hope and results

The foundation of recovery from addiction must be spiritual.

If you follow these principles and allow them to work in your life, you will find yourself being restored to spiritual health through your newfound relationship with the Lord. It is worth every effort. His Spirit will help you begin to see your choices more honestly and clearly; you will make decisions in harmony with gospel principles.

For some this miracle was almost instantaneous; for others, recovery has been more gradual. However it may occur for you, you will eventually be able to say with us that through “steadfastness in Christ,” you are rescued from addiction and enjoy a “perfect brightness of hope” (See 2 Nephi 31:20)

Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life. (2 Nephi 31:20)

“We should not underestimate or overlook the power of the Lord’s tender mercies. (Elder David A. Bednar, in Conference Report, Apr. 2005, 106–7; or Ensign, May 2005, 100–101)

The simpleness, the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live. (Elder David A. Bednar, in Conference Report, Apr. 2005, 106–7; or Ensign, May 2005, 100–101)

When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance (see 1 Nephi 1:20) (Elder David A. Bednar, in Conference Report, Apr. 2005, 106–7; or Ensign, May 2005, 100–101)

“Some individuals who hear or read this message erroneously may discount or dismiss in their personal lives the availability of the tender mercies of the Lord. … We may falsely think that such blessings and gifts are reserved for other people who appear to be more righteous or who serve in visible Church callings. I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are available to all of us and that the Redeemer of Israel is eager to bestow such gifts upon us” (Elder David A. Bednar, in Conference Report, Apr. 2005, 106–7; or Ensign, May 2005, 100–101)

And when the Jews heard these things they were angry with him; yea, even as with the prophets of old, whom they had cast out, and stoned, and slain; and they also sought his life, that they might take it away. But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance. (1 Nephi 1:20)

You will see the tender mercies of the Lord in your life as you learn to watch for them and as you come to believe that the power of God can indeed help you recover.

As you let go of pride and begin to consider bringing God back into your life, you will start to think in more prayerful terms.

When you will find yourself ready to kneel and pray aloud, you will find how good it feels to express your feelings and needs to God. You will feel you have reopened a conversation with someone who will always answer you, not always with a yes but always with love. At last you will begin to experience the healing effects of breaking out of self-imposed isolation.

The desire to communicate with God will lead you to study the words of modern and ancient prophets.

As you hear of others who found answers in the scriptures, your hope will grow that you can find answers too.

As you write your thoughts, you will receive additional impressions from the Spirit. Study prayerfully, and the Lord will give you answers to your questions and needs.

Concept

Most of us grew up with some concept of God, and as members of the Church we at least had some knowledge of Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. We may even have had a simple belief in Them, but often we did not connect our personal struggles with our need for God’s power in our lives.

The action required in step 2 is simply to become willing to practice believing in the love and mercy of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and the accessibility and blessing of the Holy Ghost. That you can come to know the perfectly united love of the Godhead by watching for evidence of Their love and power in your life and in the lives of others.

Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend. (Mosiah 4:9)

Concept and Task

Many of us tried to get out of our addictions through sheer willpower or through having faith in a friend or therapist. Sooner or later we found that our faith in ourselves or others did not enable us to overcome our addictions fully.

- Write about your feelings today of being humble and willing to turn to Christ and His gospel above all other sources of help in your recovery efforts.

And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief. (Mark 9:24)

Concept and Task

This man sought help from the Savior and obtained it. Jesus did not rebuke him for his doubt.

- Write about the Savior’s compassion and patience.

- How do you feel about sharing your feelings with the Lord?

“Let us … come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16)

Concept and Task

In the Bible Dictionary, grace is defined as “divine means of help or strength” given through the “bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ” (“Grace,” 697). This gift of divine strength enables you to do more than you would be able to do if left on your own. The Savior will do for you what you cannot do for yourself. His grace is the means by which you can repent and be changed.

- In what ways have you felt the gift of grace in your life?

- How can the gift of divine strength enable you to maintain continuous recovery?

“Believest thou in the power of Christ unto salvation? … If thou believest in the redemption of Christ thou canst be healed” (Alma 15:6, 8)

Concept and Task

When we think of healing, we usually think about our bodies.

- What else about you might require the healing power of Jesus Christ?

- Write about your need to draw on the redeeming (liberating, transforming) power of Christ.

“They were in captivity, and again the Lord did deliver them out of bondage by the power of his word” (Alma 5:5)

Concept and Task
‍
The word of God will be powerful in releasing you from bondage. You can find the word of God in the scriptures and the talks you hear at conference and read in Church magazines. You can also receive God’s word directly through the Holy Ghost.

- Write some of the things you are willing to do today to receive His word to you.

Concept

Step 3 is the decision step. In the first two steps, we awakened to what we could not do for ourselves and what we needed God to do for us. Then in step 3 we were introduced to the only thing we could do for God. We could make a decision to open ourselves to Him and surrender our entire lives—past, present, and future—and our will about our lives to Him. Step 3 was an act of agency. It was the most important choice we ever made.

“The submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar. It is a hard doctrine, but it is true. (Elder Neal A. Maxwell, “Insights from My Life,” Ensign, Aug. 2000, 9)

The many other things we give to God, however nice that may be of us, are actually things He has already given us, and He has loaned them to us. But when we begin to submit ourselves by letting our wills be swallowed up in God’s will, then we are really giving something to Him” (Elder Neal A. Maxwell, “Insights from My Life,” Ensign, Aug. 2000, 9)

“Perhaps the greatest discovery of my life, without question the greatest commitment, came when   finally I had the confidence in God that I would loan or yield my agency to him—without compulsion or pressure, without any duress, as a single individual alone, by myself, no counterfeiting,   nothing expected other than the privilege. (President Boyd K. Packer, Obedience, Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year [Dec. 7, 1971], 4)

In a sense, speaking figuratively, to take one’s agency, that precious gift which the scriptures make plain is essential to life itself, and say, ‘I will do as you direct,’   is afterward to learn that in so doing you possess it all the more” (President Boyd K. Packer, Obedience, Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year [Dec. 7, 1971], 4)

Ponder

When we took step 3, we faced the truth that recovery was far more the result of the Lord’s efforts than our own. He worked the miracle when we invited Him into our lives. Step 3 was a decision to allow God to recover and redeem us. It was a decision to allow Him to direct our lives, remembering, of course, that He always respects our agency. Thus, we decided to put our lives in His hands by continuing to follow this spiritually focused program of recovery.

We realized that changing our lives this much had to be our own decision. It wasn’t about what our parents did, what they were doing now, or what they wanted. Neither was it about what our spouses, families, or friends thought, felt, did, or did not do. We saw we had to be willing to stay clean and sober regardless of anyone else’s opinions or choices. Our willingness was the solid foundation on which the balance of recovery rested.

And behold, he preached the word unto your fathers, and a mighty change was also wrought in their hearts, and they humbled themselves and put their trust in the true and living God. And behold, they were faithful until the end; therefore they were saved. (Alma 5:13)

Ponder

When we took this step, we felt terrified of the unknown. What would happen if we humbled ourselves and surrendered our lives and wills completely to the care of God? For many of us, childhood had been very hard, and we were terrified of becoming as vulnerable as little children again.

We were convinced by past experiences that making a definite commitment was nearly impossible, given the insanity surrounding us in this world. We had seen too many commitments broken. We had broken too many ourselves. The best some of us could do was try what our recovering friends had suggested: “Don’t use. Go to meetings. Ask for help.” Those who had walked the steps of recovery before us invited us to experiment with this new way of living. They patiently waited for us to become willing to open the door to God just a little bit.

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. (Revelation 3:20)

Ponder

At first our efforts were anxious and halting. We kept giving the Lord our trust and then taking it back. We worried that He would be displeased at our inconsistency and withdraw His support and love from us. But He didn’t.

Eventually each of us must realize that we not only have to give up our addictions, but we also have to turn our entire will and life over to God. As we do so, we will find Him patient and accepting of our faltering efforts to surrender to Him in all things.

Our ability to withstand temptation is grounded in our continual submission to the will of the Lord.

When we express our need for the power available to us through the Savior’s Atonement, and we begin to feel that power within us, fortifying us against the next temptation, we have learned to accept life on the Lord’s terms.

As Elder Maxwell observed, this submission to the Lord is hard doctrine. It requires us to rededicate ourselves to His will at the start of each day and sometimes every hour or even from moment to moment. As we are willing to do so, we find the grace, or enabling power, to do what we could not do for ourselves.

Continued submission to God’s will reduces strife and brings more meaning to our lives. Small things like traffic jams are no longer cause for upset. We no longer fear our creditors. We accept responsibility for our actions. We accept and treat others as we would like to be treated, as the Savior would treat us all. Our eyes, our minds, and our hearts are finally open to the truth that mortality is challenging and that it will always have the potential to bring us sorrow and frustration as well as happiness.

Ponder

Each new day we renew our submission to the Lord and His will. This is what most of us mean when we say, “One day at a time.” We have decided to let go of the self-will and self-seeking that were at the root of our addictions and enjoy another 24 hours of the serenity and strength that come from trusting in God and in His goodness, power, and love.

By making the decision to turn your will over to God, you will begin to experience the comfort and joy that come from seeking and doing Heavenly Father’s will.

Baptism and the sacrament symbolize your love for and surrender to Jesus Christ. You covenant to take His name upon you, to always remember Him, to follow Him and keep His commandments “that [you] may always have his Spirit to be with [you]” (Moroni 4:3; see also Moroni 5:2; D&C 20:77, 79)

Speak with your bishop or branch president about your addiction and your decision to follow the will of God.

Do your best to attend sacrament meeting each week.

As you worship, listen carefully to the sacrament prayers and consider the gifts that Heavenly Father offers you. Then renew your commitment to accept and follow His will for your life by partaking of the sacrament if your bishop or branch president gives you permission to do so.

As your recovery progresses, you will find yourself more willing to be among those who honor the sacrifice of the Savior. You will begin to experience the reality that “with God nothing shall be impossible” (Luke 1:37)

For with God nothing shall be impossible. (Luke 1:37)

Ponder

“Serenity Prayer”

“God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” - Reinhold Niebuhr

You can accept with serenity the current reality of your condition when you trust in God’s ability to help you.

You can accept with serenity that although you cannot control the choices and actions of others, you can decide how you will act in each situation you face.

You can decide with courage to trust your Father in Heaven and act according to His will.

You can turn your will and life over to His care.

You can decide to do what He asks and to keep His commandments.

You may not be able to change some things in your life, but you can change your willingness to trust in God and obey Him.

As you learn to trust Him, you will see that His plan is for you to follow what Alma called the “great plan of happiness” (Alma 42:8). You will learn that even in affliction and difficulty “all things work together for good to them that love God” (Romans 8:28) and keep His commandments (see also D&C 90:24; 98:3; 100:15; 105:40)

Now behold, it was not expedient that man should be reclaimed from this temporal death, for that would destroy the great plan of happiness. (Alma 42:8)

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good, if ye walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith ye have covenanted one with another. (D&C 90:24

Therefore, he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name’s glory, saith the Lord. (D&C 98:3)

Therefore, let your hearts be comforted; for all things shall work together for good to them that walk uprightly, and to the sanctification of the church. (D&C 100:15)

And make proposals for peace unto those who have smitten you, according to the voice of the Spirit which is in you, and all things shall work together for your good. (D&C 105:40)

“Reconcile yourselves to the will of God, and not to the will of the devil and the flesh; and remember, after ye are reconciled unto God, that it is only in and through the grace of God that ye are saved” (2 Nephi 10:24)

Concept and Task

Consider what it means to live your life in harmony with the will of God. Think about how His enabling power can come into your life as you turn to Him.

- How do you feel about letting God direct your life?

- What prevents you from allowing Him to direct your life?

“The burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord” (Mosiah 24:15)

Concept and Task

The Lord could have removed the burdens of Alma and his people; instead, He strengthened them to bear “their burdens with ease.” Notice that they did not complain but submitted cheerfully and patiently to the will of the Lord.

- Write about the humility it takes to want immediate relief and yet be willing to have a burden lightened gradually.What does it mean to submit to God?

- How do you submit?

- How do you feel about submitting willingly and with patience to the Lord’s timetable of change?-How can you gain the courage to keep trying until you are free of your burdens?

- How can you gain the courage to keep trying until you are free of your burdens?

“They did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God” (Helaman 3:35)

Concept and Task

This verse describes a people who yielded their hearts to God.

- How can fasting strengthen your ability to yield your heart to God and abstain from addiction?

Consider the importance of praying in the moment of temptation, and write about how prayer will strengthen your humility and your faith in Christ.

- How strong is your willingness to yield your heart to God instead of yielding to addiction in the moment of temptation?

“He did deliver them because they did humble themselves before him; and because they cried mightily unto him he did deliver them out of bondage; and thus doth the Lord work with his power in all cases among the children of men, extending the arm of mercy towards them that put their trust in him” (Mosiah 29:20)

Concept and Task

- What keeps you from “crying mightily” to God for deliverance according to His will?

- What has kept you from seeking this kind of deliverance in the past?

- In what ways can you learn to trust in God?

To humble yourself is a decision you make. Satan may try to get you to believe that although God helped others, He won’t help you because you are helpless and hopeless. Recognize this lie for what it is. In truth, you are a child of God.

- How can this knowledge help you humble yourself?

recovery“I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive” (Alma 7:23)

Concept and Task

Step 3 is a choice. Recovery happens by God’s power, but only after you choose to seek His help. Your decision opens the channels for His power to flow into your life. Consider how humility, patience, gentleness, and so on are all choices. The last quality listed in the scripture is gratitude.

- How does gratitude help you be humble?

- What other qualities did Alma include in this list?

- Which of these qualities do you lack?

- Which ones can you work on today?

- What can you do now to start?

“The natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father” (Mosiah 3:19)

Concept and Task

Many of us experienced unloving treatment from parents or guardians, and becoming “as a child” is challenging, maybe even terrifying. -If you have unresolved problems with a parent, what can you do to separate your feelings about your parent from your feelings about God?

If you have unresolved problems with a parent, what can you do to separate your feelings about your parent from your feelings about God ?

Although you may have problems to resolve with your earthly parents, you can have confidence in Heavenly Father and the Savior as perfect fathers.

- Why can you trust Heavenly Father and the Savior as you submit your life to Them?

41 And he was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast, and kneeled down, and prayed,

42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.
(Luke 22:41–42)

Concept and Task

In this prayer, the Savior demonstrated His willingness to submit to the Father. He expressed His desires but then humbly did the will of His Father. Consider the blessing of being able to tell God your feelings.

- How does knowing that He understands your reluctance, your pain, or whatever you feel help you say, “Thy will be done,” and mean it?

Video:  Austin Story About Addiction Recovery
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Objective

In this step, step 4, you show your willingness to trust God. You make a searching and fearless written inventory of your life, surveying or summarizing the thoughts, events, emotions, and actions of your life, making your inventory as complete as possible.

Explanation

Doing a fearless and thorough inventory of your life will not be easy. When we say fearless, we do not mean you will have no feelings of fear. You will likely experience many emotions as you survey your life, including embarrassment or shame or fear.

‍Fearless means you will not let your fears stop you from being thorough in the inventory process.

Fearless means you commit to rigorous honesty as you focus on events in your life, including your own weaknesses, and not on anyone else’s weaknesses.

In the past you probably justified bad behavior and blamed other people, places, or things for the problems you had created. Now you will begin to take responsibility for past and current actions, even though you may need to acknowledge painful, embarrassing, or difficult events, thoughts, emotions, or actions.

“Without a searching and fearless moral inventory, … the faith which really works in daily living is still out of reach” (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions [1981], 43)

Addiction crippled our ability to reflect honestly about our lives. It limited our ability to understand the damage and havoc—the liabilities—it caused in all our relationships.

Before you can confidently rely on the Savior, you needed a framework through which He could help you sort out your past honestly. This step, Step 4, provided that framework; it was the “vigorous and painstaking effort to discover what these liabilities have been, and are” (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, 42)

The inventory was also a step in helping us align our lives with the will of God. Through this inventory, we identified negative thoughts, emotions, and actions that ruled our lives.

By discovering those destructive elements in our lives, we took the first step toward correcting them.

Doing an inventory was difficult, but this step opened the door to the additional faith and hope we needed to continue our recoveries and overcome addiction.

An inventory is a very personal process, and there is no single right way to do it. You can consult with others who have already done an inventory and seek the Lord’s guidance in doing your own. He will help you be truthful and loving as you sort through your memories and feelings.

Example

One way to do an inventory is to list memories of people; institutions or organizations; principles, ideas, or beliefs; and events, situations, or circumstances that trigger positive and negative feelings (including sadness, regret, anger, resentment, fear, bitterness). Some items on the list may appear multiple times. That is okay. Do not try to sort or judge or analyze at this point. For now, the most important thing is to be as thorough as possible.

As you do your inventory, look beyond your past behaviors and examine the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that led to your behavior.

Your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs are actually the roots of your addictive behaviors.

Unless you examine all your tendencies toward fear, pride, resentment, anger, self-will, and self-pity, your abstinence will be shaky at best. You will continue with your original addiction or switch to another one. Your addiction is a symptom of other “causes and conditions” (Alcoholics Anonymous [2001], 64)

Further Explanation

Some people group their lives according to age, grades in school, places lived, or relationships. Others start simply by brainstorming. You will probably not remember everything all at once. Continue to be prayerful and allow the Lord to bring things to your remembrance. Leave this process open-ended, and add to your inventory as your memories come.

Once you have finished your list, seek the Lord’s guidance in learning from each memory.

Ideas

Some people organize this part of their inventory into a table or chart with columns under each of the five headings listed below. They restrict their entries to brief statements. Others create a page for each entry on their list, and then write answers in each of the five categories.

‍Incident. What happened? In just a few words, give a short description of your memory of the event. Think more in terms of a summary rather than a long story.

Effect. What was the effect on you or others?

Feelings. What were your feelings at the time of the incident? What are your feelings now about it? Consider how your fears may have contributed to it.

Self-examination. How did your character weaknesses or strengths affect the situation? Do you see any evidence of pride, self-pity, self-deception, or self-will in your attitudes and actions? Be sure to record also those times when you acted right.

The Holy Ghost can help you humble yourself and face the truth, even if the truth is painful. With the help of the Lord, you can recognize your strengths and weaknesses (see Ether 12:27)

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. (Ether 12:27)

Ideas

Questions like these may help:

- What outcome did I want in this situation and why?

- How did I try to control the situation?

- Was it any of my business?

- What actions did I take or omit to get what I wanted?

- Did I ignore reality?Were my expectations reasonable for myself and for others?

- Did I lie to myself or to others?

- Did I ignore the feelings of others and think only of myself?

- How did I act like a victim to control others, get attention and sympathy, be special, and so on?

- Did I resist help from God and others?

- Did I insist on being right?

- Did I feel slighted for lack of recognition or acknowledgment?

Remember you have nothing to fear as you submit to the Savior. You are here to learn good from evil, and the Savior can help you forgive yourself and others.

Record your thoughts and impressions as you consider inspired counsel from the scriptures and from Church leaders

Four elements are critical to a successful moral inventory—writing, honesty, support, and prayer. These elements of a moral inventory will help you recognize and overcome sins and shortcomings.

The inventory of your life will be most effective if you write it. You can hold a written list in your hands, review it, and refer to it when necessary;

Unwritten thoughts are easy to forget, and distractions can easily interrupt you.

As you write your moral inventory, you will be able to think more clearly about the events in your life and you will be able to focus on them with less distraction.

Some people try to avoid writing their moral inventory, feeling embarrassed or fearful about their writing ability or about someone else reading what they write. Don’t let these fears stop you.

Your spelling, grammar, penmanship, or typing skills do not matter. You can draw stick figures, if you must, but get your inventory on paper.

Until you put it in a tangible form, you still haven’t done your fourth step.

As you complete the fourth step, remember that perfectionism—trying to do your inventory perfectly and to please others—can block you from being complete.

The fear of someone reading what you have written can be a genuine concern, but you can overcome it. Those of us who have done an inventory have had to face this fear. We had to do all we could to keep our inventory private and then trust the results to God. We had to care more about healing than about our ego or reputation.

The inventory required us to call on God’s help continually, to ask Him to protect and guide us as we accomplished it. You must remember that step 4 is an act of stepping out of shadows of shame and admitting your need for repentance.

If you will be prayerful about how and where to keep your inventory pages private, the Lord will guide you to do what is best.

Being honest with yourself about the sinful areas of your life can be terrifying. Often people avoid looking too closely at themselves in the mirror of the past, fearing the reflection may reveal the truth of what their lives have become. Now as you take the fourth step, you must face the truth about your life and your fears squarely.

In your inventory, you will not only discover your weaknesses but you will also understand and appreciate your strengths better.

Include in your inventory your good traits and the positive things you have done. In truth, you are a combination of weaknesses and strengths. As you become willing to see the whole truth about your past—good and bad—you allow the powers of heaven to reveal the truth and help you put the past in proper perspective.

The Lord will help you change your life’s course and fulfill your divine potential. You will learn that you are like all other humans, with strengths and weaknesses. You can begin to face others on equal footing.

The encouragement and support of others who understand recovery can help you in your efforts. They can guide you in discovering the method, structure, or approach that will work best for you in reviewing your past. They can encourage you if you get discouraged.

Ponder

As you consider the magnitude of step 4 and the challenge it represents, think of how the Lord has helped you in each previous step. As you turned to God for comfort, courage, and guidance, you found the help that will continue with you as you do an inventory.

Paul taught that God is the “God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our tribulation” (2 Corinthians 1:3–4). If you pray each time you sit down to write your inventory, God will help you. You will learn this reality as you take this seemingly impossible step—God can and will always be there for you, if you ask.

3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. (2 Corinthians 1:3–4)

Some people are concerned about looking into the past for fear of inadvertently creating false memories from vague or exaggerated impressions. In doing your inventory, consider only those memories that are plain enough to be addressed and sorted through. Here again, trusting God is the answer. If you conduct your inventory with sincere prayer, with real intent, having faith in Christ, you can trust Him to bring those things to your remembrance that will help in your recovery.

One glorious result of completing step 4 is that you take a major step toward freeing yourself from behaviors that defined your past.

The reflection of yourself that you will see as you complete this step can inspire you to change the direction of your life if you will let it.

Because of the love and grace of the Savior, you do not have to be what you have been.

By calling on the Lord for guidance as you examine your life, you will come to recognize your experiences as learning opportunities. You will find that uncovering weaknesses you have suffered with for so long will allow you to move forward to a new life.

For many of us, an inventory was our first effort to write about our lives. A personal journal can continue to be a very powerful tool of recovery. Prophets of the Lord have often taught the importance of journals.

“Write … your goings and comings, your deepest thoughts, your achievements and your failures, your associations and your triumphs, your impressions and your testimonies” (President Spencer W. Kimball, “The Angels May Quote from It,” New Era, Oct. 1975, 5)

When you prayerfully write about your life, you give the Holy Ghost an opportunity to help you see and understand the potential lessons that come from each of your experiences.

If you are not currently keeping a journal, we encourage you to start. If you are already keeping one, we encourage you to be more prayerful as you write so the Lord can teach you and enrich your understanding through His Spirit.

Completing an inventory will take time. There is no need to rush through it, but you need to get started.

Where you begin is not as important as eventually examining your past as far as your memory and the Lord’s inspiration will take you.

Just write as memories come into your mind. What you write is private, and you will share it only with a trusted support person you will prayerfully select when you take step 5.

Your inventory is about you and your relationship with yourself, with God, and with others.

As you gather courage to see yourself as you really are, God will open your eyes, and you will begin to see yourself as He sees you—as one of His children with a divine birthright. Take this step, and keep your eyes on that birthright

After you have completed your written inventory and when the time is right, those portions that include negative or angry expressions, accounts of personal transgressions, and any other sensitive matters that should not be shared with others or passed down to future generations should be destroyed.

The destruction of these writings can be a symbol of your repentance and a powerful way to let go. The Lord promised Jeremiah concerning His people, “I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more” (Jeremiah 31:34). We should follow the Lord’s example in forgiving our own sins and the sins of others.

And they shall teach no more every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for they shall all know me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, saith the Lord: for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more. (Jeremiah 31:34)

“I invite each one of you to thoughtfully review your life. Have you deviated from the standards that you know will bring happiness? Is there a dark corner that needs to be cleaned out? Are you now doing things that you know are wrong? Do you fill your mind with unclean thoughts? When it is quiet and you can think clearly, does your conscience tell you to repent?  (Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1995, 103; or Ensign, May 1995, 77)

“For your peace now and for everlasting happiness, please repent. Open your heart to the Lord and ask Him to help you. You will earn the blessing of forgiveness, peace, and the knowledge you have been purified and made whole. Find the courage to ask the Lord for strength to repent now” (Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1995, 103; or Ensign, May 1995, 77)

Concept &Task

Step 4 is one way to follow Elder Scott’s counsel. Find a quiet time to pray for direction and courage as you review your life.

- Prayerfully seek time for self-evaluation, and record the ideas that come to you as you consider Elder Scott’s questions.

“Turn away from your sins; shake off the chains of him that would bind you fast; come unto that God who is the rock of your salvation” (2 Nephi 9:45)

Concept &Task

Turning away from sins and shaking off addictive chains cannot begin until you acknowledge that the sins and chains exist.

- Write about the resistance you feel when you think about being completely honest about your past.

“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8)

A main characteristic of addiction is denial or self-deception—when an individual denies having a problem.

- What healing effects can come from replacing denial with truth?

- How can step 4 help you accomplish such a task?

“I did remember all my sins and iniquities, for which I was tormented with the pains of hell; yea, I saw that I had rebelled against my God, and that I had not kept his holy commandments” (Alma 36:13)

Remembering your sins may be painful, but it can propel you into a new life of peace (see Alma 36:19–21).

- Ask someone who has completed this step how it helped him or her.

- How can the hope of recovery help you through the pain of remorse to the joy of forgiveness?

“By the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things” (Moroni 10:5)

Concept &Task

Some people have difficulty remembering or acknowledging the painful truth about the past, but the Holy Ghost can help you remember and can comfort you as you take step 4. You can receive these blessings even if you do not have the gift of the Holy Ghost.

- Write about how the Holy Ghost can guide you in the inventory process.

- Why is it important to know the truth about your current situation?

- Why is it important to know the truth that you are a child of God?

“If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27)

Concept &Task

Apply this verse to your life by copying it and inserting your name as if the Lord were speaking directly to you.

- Write the thoughts that come into your mind about this scripture and its personal application.

“Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32)

Being honest with yourself and with the Lord, who is also known as the “Spirit of truth” (D&C 93:9), is the key to freedom from the lies that enslave you. As you come to know Him, His power and presence in your life will free you from addiction.

- How can recognizing truth improve your relationship with Jesus Christ?

A common characteristic of many who have suffered from addiction is a sense of isolation. Even in a crowd or while engaged in activities where others might feel a sense of connectedness, we felt like we didn’t fit in.

Understanding
‍
We did honest and thorough inventories in step 4, but that was a private experience. We were still left alone with the shame of the past. Not until we took step 5 were we able to throw off the shackles of our isolating secrets and gain some perspective on ourselves and the past.

Confession began a process of disclosure where we shared expressions of remorse with friends, family, and others. It was part of an ongoing effort to repair and reestablish broken relationships.

Confession also involved seeking forgiveness from the Lord through prayer and through any necessary priesthood channels.

Understanding
‍
We found it best to take step 5 as soon as possible after completing step 4. Postponing it would have been like acknowledging an infected wound without cleansing it.  Step 5 seemed overwhelming, but as we asked the Lord for help, He gave us courage and strength.

This disclosure to proper priesthood authority was an essential part of recovery and healing.

We also selected another trusted person to whom we could disclose the exact nature of our wrongs. We tried to select someone who had gone through steps 4 and 5 and who was well-grounded in the gospel.

Understanding

The individuals who listened to our inventories often helped us see lingering areas of self-deception. They helped us put our lives into perspective and avoid exaggerating or minimizing our accountability.

Writing our inventories was like recording hundreds of separate scenes from our lives. In step 5, we had a chance to see our lives unfold, scene after scene, in a flowing narrative. As we did, we began to recognize patterns of weaknesses that had influenced our choices. We started to understand our tendencies toward negative thoughts and emotions (self-will, fear, pride, self-pity, jealousy, self-righteousness, anger, resentment, unbridled passions and desires, and so on). These thoughts and emotions were truly the exact nature of our wrongs.

In completing step 5, we demonstrated before God, ourselves, and another witness our commitment to a new life based firmly on telling and living the truth.

“Repentance can never come until one has bared his soul and admitted his actions without excuses or rationalizations. … Those persons who choose to meet the issue and transform their lives may find repentance the harder road at first, but they will find it the infinitely more desirable path as they taste of its fruits” (President Spencer W. Kimball:, “The Gospel of Repentance,” Ensign, Oct. 1982, 4)

We have experienced what President Kimball taught. Once we honestly and thoroughly completed step 5, we were left with nothing to hide. We outwardly demonstrated our desire to “give away all [our] sins” (Alma 22:18) so that we could receive a greater knowledge of God’s love and the love and support of many good people who rallied around us.

O God, Aaron hath told me that there is a God; and if there is a God, and if thou art God, wilt thou make thyself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee, and that I may be raised from the dead, and be saved at the last day. And now when the king had said these words, he was struck as if he were dead. (Alma 22:18)

The “duty of all persons [is] to confess all their sins to the Lord” (Bible Dictionary, “Confession,” 649)

More serious transgressions must be confessed to proper priesthood leaders, usually the bishop:

“While only the Lord can forgive sins, these priesthood leaders play a critical role in the process of repentance.   They will keep your confession confidential and help you throughout the process of repentance. (True to the Faith: A Gospel Reference [2004], 134)

Be completely honest with them. If you partially confess, mentioning only lesser mistakes, you will not be able to resolve a more serious, undisclosed transgression. The sooner you begin this process, the sooner   you will find the peace and joy that come with the miracle of forgiveness” (True to the Faith: A Gospel Reference [2004], 134)

Use great care and wisdom when selecting someone other than a priesthood leader to whom to disclose your wrongs.

Do not share such sensitive information with individuals you suspect might extend improper guidance, provide misinformation, or have difficulty maintaining confidences.

Those with whom you share your inventory must be extremely trustworthy in both word and deed.

President Brigham Young cautioned members not to disclose sins unnecessarily:

“When we ask the brethren, as we frequently do, to speak in sacrament meetings, we wish them, if they have injured their neighbors, to confess their wrongs; but do not tell about your nonsensical conduct that nobody knows of but yourselves. (President Brigham Young, Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widtsoe [1954], 158)

Tell to the public that which belongs to the public. If you have sinned against the people, confess to them. If you have sinned against a family or a neighborhood, go to them and confess. If you have sinned against your Ward, confess to your Ward. If you have sinned against one individual, take that person by yourselves and make your confession to him. And if you have sinned against your God, or against yourselves, confess to God, and keep the matter to yourselves, for I do not want to know anything about it” (President Brigham Young, Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widtsoe [1954], 158)

Occasionally you may observe individuals in recovery meetings or in other situations who seem to rehearse continually their sins and shortcomings or the sins others have committed against them. They are always confessing but never finding peace.

Do not confuse step 5 with an obsessive desire to dwell on negative things. The intent of step 5 is exactly the opposite. We take step 5 not to hold on to the things we confess but to begin to distinguish evil from good for ourselves and to choose good.

“I, the Lord, forgive sins unto those who confess their sins before me and ask forgiveness” (D&C 64:7)

Concept / Task

- How does confessing your sins to God help you make positive changes in your life?

- Most of us feel fear and an unwillingness to take step 5. How can confessing your sins to God give you courage and strength eventually to confess to another person?

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed” (James 5:16)

Concept / Task

You may fear that someone who really knew all your weaknesses and failings would reject you. But a priesthood leader or a trusted friend who understands the recovery process usually responds with understanding and compassion.

- How could such a response help you heal?

“Let not any man publish his own righteousness … ; sooner let him confess his sins, and then he will be forgiven, and he will bring forth more fruit” (Joseph Smith, in History of the Church, 4:479)

Concept / Task

One major obsession of those who struggle with addiction is a great desire to look good to others.

- How would this desire keep you from improving and bringing “forth more fruit” (or good works)?

- How would your behavior change if you were only concerned about looking good to God?

“Whosoever transgresseth against me, him shall ye judge according to the sins which he has committed; and if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also” (Mosiah 26:29)

Concept / Task

When you confess your sins, you must be sincere. Consider how holding back part of your confession undermines the sincerity of your efforts.

- What part of your inventory, if any, are you tempted to hide?

- What do you have to gain by continuing to hide this portion of your inventory?

- What do you have to lose?

“In this same year were they brought to a knowledge of their error and did confess their faults” (3 Nephi 1:25)

Concept / Task

This verse is an example of people who did not procrastinate confessing their faults once they were brought to a knowledge of them.

- What are the benefits of doing step 5 as soon as possible after step 4?

- What might be the detrimental effects of procrastinating step 5?

“I would not dwell upon your crimes, to harrow up your soul, if it were not for your good” (Alma 39:7)

Concept / Task

Some people would claim that we dwell too much on negative things in life by taking steps 4 and 5 and that doing so can only add to our stress. In this verse, we are taught that facing shortcomings can do us good, not just “harrow up” (or distress) our souls.

- In what ways can steps 4 and 5 relieve you of stress and bring you more peace?

“By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them” (D&C 58:43)

Concept / Task

To forsake something means to abandon it or give it up completely.

- How do you demonstrate your desire to forsake your old ways by completing step 5?

Understanding

After the rigorous emotional and spiritual cleansing of steps 4 and 5, most of us were amazed at the transformation in ourselves. We prayed more intently, pondered the scriptures more regularly, and kept a journal more consistently. We prepared to make and keep sacred covenants by attending sacrament meeting.

As time passed, though, we noticed that abstinence seemed to make our character weaknesses more visible, especially to ourselves. We tried to control our negative thoughts and feelings, but they continued to reappear, haunting us and threatening our new lives of abstinence and Church activity. Those who understood the spiritual implications of recovery urged us to recognize that while all the outward changes in our lives were wonderful, the Lord wanted to bless us even more. Our friends helped us see that if we wanted not only to avoid our addictions but actually lose the desire to return to them, we had to experience a change of heart. This change of heart or desire is the purpose of step 6.

“How?” you may cry. “How can I even begin to accomplish such a change?”   Don’t be discouraged by these feelings. Step 6, like the steps before it, may feel like an overwhelming challenge. As painful as it may be,   you may have to admit, as we did, that recognizing and confessing your character weaknesses in steps 4 and 5 did not necessarily mean you were ready to give them up.   You may realize that you still cling to old ways of reacting to and coping with stresses in life—maybe even more so now that you have let go of your addictions.

Probably the most humbling thing to acknowledge is that you still harbor a prideful desire to change without the help of God.

Step 6, 'A Change of Heart',  means surrendering to God all remnants of pride and self-will.

Explanation

Like steps 1 and 2, step 6 requires you to humble yourself and admit your need for the redeeming and transforming power of Christ. After all, His atoning sacrifice has enabled you to accomplish each step to this point. Step 6 is no exception.

As you come unto Jesus Christ, seeking help with this step, you will not be disappointed.   If you trust Him and have patience with the process, you will see your pride gradually replaced by humility.

He will wait patiently for you to weary of your own unaided effort to change,   and as soon as you turn to Him you will witness once again His love and power in your behalf. Your resistance to letting go of old patterns of behavior will be replaced by an open mind as the Spirit gently suggests a better way of living. Your fear of change will diminish as you realize the Lord understands the pain and hard work it requires.

As the process of coming unto Christ takes hold in your heart, you will find the false beliefs that fueled negative thoughts and feelings gradually replaced by truth.

You will grow in strength as you continue to study the word of God and ponder its personal application.

Through the testimonies of others, the Lord will help you learn the truth that you are not beyond His power to heal.

Promise

The desire to blame others for the condition of your character or to rationalize your way out of a change of heart will be replaced by the desire to be accountable to Him and submissive to His will.

A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26)

The Lord wants to bless you with a change of disposition that will unite you with Him in mind and heart, just as He is united with the Father.

He wants to give you rest from your isolation from God the Father, the isolation that caused the fears which contributed to your addiction.

He wants to make the Atonement effective in your life, here and now.

As you yield to the promptings of the Spirit and look to the Savior for salvation, not only from addiction but from character weaknesses, you can be assured that a new disposition or character will grow out of your willing heart.

A growing desire to be sanctified by God will make you ready for a change in your very nature.

“The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature. …“May we be convinced that Jesus is the Christ, choose to follow Him, be changed for Him, captained by Him, consumed in Him, and born again” (President Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Oct. 1985, 5–6; or Ensign, Nov. 1985, 6–7)

When we were baptized, few of us understood the lifelong process of true conversion.

“In one who is really wholly converted, desire for things contrary to the gospel of Jesus Christ has actually died. And substituted therefore is a love of God, with a fixed and controlling determination to keep his commandments” (President Marion G. Romney, in Conference Report, Guatemala Area Conference 1977, 8)

As you experience the miracle of ongoing recovery—first from destructive addictive behaviors and then from character weaknesses—you will experience true conversion.

You will begin to awaken, to come to yourself just as the prodigal son came to himself (see Luke 15:17)

And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! (Luke 15:17)

You will begin to realize that to return to Heavenly Father’s kingdom, you must not only awake but arise and allow Jesus Christ to be your Redeemer.

As you yield your heart to God and grow stronger in humility, your   resolve not to repeat past behaviors will become firmer and firmer.

Delivered from the bondage of the past, you will feel more and more comfortable among brothers and sisters in the Church. You will find yourself desiring to return and be gathered as a child of God and numbered in full fellowship among the sheep of His fold.

Whether your addiction has been to alcohol, drugs, gambling, pornography, self-destructive eating patterns, compulsive spending, or another behavior or substance that represents your need to run and hide from stress or challenges in your life, you can come to realize that it all began in your mind and heart.

Healing also begins in your mind and heart.

As you become willing to be changed by coming unto Jesus Christ, you will learn of His power to heal.

By taking step 6, you increase your commitment to abstain from past addictions through a deepening relationship with the Savior, Jesus Christ, and with the Father, who sent Him.

You decide to become sober minded like the young prophet Mormon.

And I, being fifteen years of age and being somewhat of a sober mind, therefore I was visited of the Lord, and tasted and knew of the goodness of Jesus. (Mormon 1:15)

You continue to accept that God must truly become everything to you in order to save you from weaknesses of thought, word, and action.

“The king said … what shall I do that I may be born of God, having this wicked spirit rooted out of my breast, and receive his Spirit, that I may be filled with joy. … I will give up all that I possess … that I may receive this great joy. …

“… The king did bow down before the Lord, upon his knees; yea, even he did prostrate himself upon the earth, and cried mightily, saying:

“O God … I will give away all my sins to know thee, and that I may be raised from the dead, and be saved at the last day” (Alma 22:15, 17–18)

Concept & Task

- What obstacles—including attitudes and feelings—keep you from giving away “all [your] sins” and more fully receiving the Spirit of the Lord?

“If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27)

Concept & Task

Being mortal and imperfect, we are all subject to many weaknesses. In this verse, the Lord explains His purpose in allowing us to experience mortality and to encounter such weaknesses—to help us be humble. Notice, though, that we choose to humble ourselves.

- How is becoming ready in step 6 part of humbling yourself?

- List some of your character weaknesses, and next to them list the strengths they may become as you come unto Christ.

14 For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

15 Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,

16 That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;

17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,

18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;

19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. (Ephesians 3:14–19)

Concept & Task

As you take upon yourself the name of Christ and are strengthened by His Spirit, you begin to identify yourself with the Saints—brothers and sisters who have been baptized and entered into His family on earth (see Mosiah 5:7).

- As you have come to know your fellow Saints better, how have you become more willing to participate more fully in the fellowship of priesthood, Relief Society, and Sunday School?

“The natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love” (Mosiah 3:19)

Concept & Task

Many of us become Saints in name only at baptism and spend the rest of our lives struggling to “put off the natural man” and develop the characteristics listed in this verse.

- How has this struggle prepared you to accept that only through the Atonement of Christ—by becoming one with Jesus Christ and with the Father—can you experience redemption?

“No matter what the source of difficulty and no matter how you begin to obtain relief—through a qualified professional therapist, doctor, priesthood leader, friend, concerned parent, or loved one—no matter how you begin, those solutions will never provide a complete answer. The final healing comes through faith in Jesus Christ and His teachings, with a broken heart and a contrite spirit and obedience to His commandments” (Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1994, 9; or Ensign, May 1994, 9)

Concept & Task

Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve taught that no amount of support or fellowship—even in recovery groups or congregations of the Church—will bring you salvation. Other people may support and bless you in your journey, but eventually you must come unto Christ Himself.

- Write about how your journey of recovery began.Who was instrumental in helping you get on the path to repentance and recovery?

- How has their example pointed you toward the Savior?

- What have you learned about the Savior that has helped or influenced your desire or ability to change your behavior?

40. “Ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth.

41. “Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, …

42. “And none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost” (D&C 50:40–42)

Concept & Task

Sometimes we become impatient or discouraged that recovery is an ongoing process. These verses show the Savior’s and our Heavenly Father’s patience with us as “little children.”

- Apply these verses to yourself by writing them out addressed to you personally.

- How can the promises in this scripture strengthen you when you get discouraged?

19. “My beloved brethren, after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow path, I would ask if all is done? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; for ye have not come thus far save it were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save.

20. “Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life” (2 Nephi 31:19–20)

Concept & Task

Ponder and write about how the Lord helps you along the strait and narrow path.

- How does your growing love for God and for others bring you out of addiction, help you continue in abstinence, and restore you to a hope of eternal life?